Thursday, July 19, 2007

Hell Freezes Over


Well, hell just officially froze over. I just found out I agree with that bloated bag of of ill wind, Rush Limbaugh. Relax, I'm not going on a political diatribe. I hate all commentators on any side of an issue who deal in lies and half-truths and who try to stir up negativity to make a name for themselves. Especially when they act holier than thou and then turn out to be way more sinful than thou.

Anyway, what do I agree with Mr. Nastypants about? Cigars. Congress plans to raise the tax on cigars from 5 cents to 10 effing dollars PER CIGAR!!

What does this have to do with sex? Well first of all, another overrated sexist blowhard once said cigars are penis stand-ins. (Which makes Rush's constant sucking on one suggestive, no? Personally I think it signifies his wish to give himself a blowjob.) And second, well, a good cigar is my penis stand-in. As well as my cigarette stand-in. When I just have to suck on something that won't make me fat, give me a toothache or erupt snot-like substances in my mouth and will give me a nicotene boost, I reach for a cigar.
Rush and I both believe this new tax is a bad idea. Our selfish reason is the same. We both love suckin' on them big ol' stogies. I doubt he cares that cigarmakers in the town where I live will also probably be put out of a job by this careless piece of legislation.

5 comments:

MARCIA said...

I AM NOT A SMOKER BUT I THINK THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TOO FAR. NOT JUST WITH SMOKING BUT WITH ALL OUR RIGHTS IN GENERAL.

Ciana Stone said...

ROFLAMO - Oh Jaid, I nearly had a stroke laughing over this part ...

When I just have to suck on something that won't make me fat, give me a toothache or erupt snot-like substances in my mouth and will give me a nicotene boost, I reach for a cigar.

The snot-like substances seriously made me laugh like mad.

And while I haven't developed a taste for cigars, I think the whole tax thing is ridiculous. Seems like anything associated with tobacco these days is right up there with terrorism - something to be stamped out as quickly as possible.

But hey, it's a red letter day ANY day that you agree with Rush :)

Jaid Black said...

Susan posted that, not me... but yeah, she's quite clever *g*

Jaid Black said...

Susan, you're preaching to the choir where I'm concerned. I totally agree with you... even if that means agreeing with... him (cough)

Ciana Stone said...

Susan, I realized AFTER I posted that you'd made the original post. My apology. I should have recognized that cutting wit.

Still the snot-like substance comment makes me laugh every time :)