Sunday, September 30, 2007

Love those Lips!

Not the ones beneath your nose, girlfriends, the ones between your legs! Our quiminologists have been exploring labia recently, armed with mirrors, calipers and - of course - the internet for reference. You’ve all done it, contorted yourself into a mock-yoga position and checked out those fleshy folds which hide and protect your secrets. If you haven’t…well, grab yourself a mirror and a quiet spot. It’s a fascinating topic.

We all have two sets of lips, or labia as the medical folk like to call ‘em. The labia majora are the outside ones, containing hair follicles and oil secreting glands. The inner ones, the labia minora, also contain oil glands but aren’t usually very hairy. Those are the common factors. The amazing thing? Just about every woman has their own personal variety of labial configuration! They really are as diverse as the population! From ruffles and flourishes to smooth and reclusive, a woman’s labia can range from small to enormous - and they’re all GOOD. No matter what you’ve heard, large inner labia that protrude are quite normal. So are labia that are different colors. (Okay, if you’ve got sparkly blue ones, you might want to get a second opinion.)

The three most common are “corrugated”, ”double loop” and “triple loop”. This refers to the folds of the inner labia as they peek shyly from the pussy. We’ve got stats, sizes, percentages and so on to demonstrate all this, but frankly that’s boring. What matters is that we love what we have.

So biking may result in a pinch or two, so what? Give up on the Tour de France. Bending over in a short skirt and a thong may flash something more than our butt cheeks. Who cares? It’s a definite turn-on for the guy behind us. So there’s a bulge in our bathing suits! We’re women. We can flaunt it! As long as we avoid the painful “Camel Toe” syndrome (where your pants are so tight they’re biting up between your labia, resembling a camel’s toe from a viewer’s frame of reference. Ouch!) then let those lips loose, ladies. Loose lips, in this case, don’t sink ships, they raise the masts!! (Pardon the nautical pun.)

Men, overall, aren’t recorded as having much of an opinion on labia. As long as they’re there and doing what they’re supposed to be doing, it’s all good to them. We’re the ones who obsess (don’t we always?) and even rush to cosmetic surgeons to have them “redesigned” to fit whatever we think is “perfect”. Well, here’s the scoop. There ISN’T a perfect labial shape. What you ARE right now, is perfect. Long, short, pink, brown, frilled, ruffled, smooth or fleshy - that’s perfection, baby. Love thy labia! It’s your special signature body part. Like you, it’s unique!

From your Quiminology Dept.


Susan Edwards said...

Amen to that, Sister Sahara! Thanks for the labia lesson. It made me think of artist Judy Chicago's Dinner Party ( The Dinner Party was a, er, seminal feminist art installation of dinner plates as vulvular images in honor of historical females. Oh, the labia! 39 sets of gorgeous, colorful labia representing women throughout history, from the Primordial Goddess through Sacajawea Emily Dickenson and Virginia Woolf. I saw the first exhibition in San Francisco in 1979. It was like Woodstock for feminists. Revolutionary. Imagine a public, elegant, eloquent celebration of labia! Mindblowing. I don't know if the whole collection of plates is anywhere online. I'll see if I can find it and report back.

katydid said...

There is a virtual tour available from the museum where the Dinner Party is now on permanent display:,

Susan Edwards said...

Thanks, Katydid. I was hoping someone would come up with the answer before I had to go do more research!