Thursday, October 4, 2007

Empress on the Mount

Why We Love Bad Boys

Dear Empress:
Why are bad boys such a turn-on? I’ve been dating a perfectly nice man with a good job and decent social and sexual skills. I’m bored senseless with him. He has an artist friend who’s moody, drinks to excess and constantly mooches cigarettes, money and meals. When he turns his stormy eyes on me, I want to jump his bones. Why can’t I get the same spark from the good guy? And don’t just tell me I’m a dumb bitch. A lot of my female friends feel the same way.
—Glutton for Punishment

I wouldn’t dream of JUST telling you you’re a dumb bitch. You’re also an infantile dweeb, moron and idiot. In your case, familiarity doesn’t only breed contempt, it also breeds arrant stupidity. Of course the artist is appealing, we never want what we already have. By all means, dump the nice guy (after all, he deserves MUCH better than you) and go for the artist. I’m sure you’ll find the alcoholic leech is an unselfish superman in bed, always pays his way and can be relied upon when you need him. You two deserve each other.

For more pearls of wisdom from Her Testiness, read her column at Lady Jaided magazine.

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