Thursday, October 11, 2007

Empress on the Mount

Exalted One:
I met a man on the internet and we have fallen in love. Now he wants to meet and I’m in a panic. I sent him a 15-year-old picture of myself, from when I was much slimmer and better looking. I’ve told him my real age but the years have not been kind to me and I look almost nothing like that picture. I don’t want to lose this man but I’m afraid if he sees the way I look now, he won’t want anything to do with me. I would just stall him until I could get liposuction and a facelift but it turns out that costs a lot of money. My question is this: Could you loan me $79,000?
—Your Devoted Fan


For more pearls of wisdom from Her High Unholiness, visit her column in Lady Jaided emagazine.

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