Tuesday, October 16, 2007

misogyny hits a record low

Flat-chested women can get free boob implants if the price is right. While the procedure costs nothing in dollars (if you're lucky), it could cost you a fortune in self-esteem...

Over at MyFreeImplants.com there are 10,000+ male benefactors ready and waiting to donate to your impending surgery. The catch? You are required to form an online show and tell relationship with the donors, sending them intimate photos of yourself in order to raise their libidos and open their wallets.

The scary part is that over 1000 women have joined this sickening farce. To me, this is tantamount to a website that helps African-Americans raise "skin bleaching" donations from horny Caucasians. After all, once upon a time more African-Americans than not believed that lighter skin was better skin. Apparently when that terror tactic quit working, society turned its sights to breasts.

But hey, it's not just men being the dicks, chicas. For instance, British model Jordan (pictured) told Now magazine last year that she can't understand how men can be attracted to women with small breasts. I, OTOH, can't understand how men can be attracted to women whose boobs are so blatantly fake. After all, when women like that walk by there is always an uncomfortable silence and/or looking away. It's not envy, guys and gals. It's called embarrassment.


Anonymous said...

What I can't understand is how she can even stand up with all that silicone weighing down her chest.

Kimberly Kaye Terry said...

We live in a society where women are ascribed what is beautiful and what is not, what is desirable and what is distasteful. As long as women buy into this bull, then this type of "sponsorship" will continue.

As far as blacks lightening their skin...that goes so far beyond fake tits. Sorry, but you know I HAVE to tell it as I see it, girlfriend.

Black women, black people, have been told our beauty is not the standard, from the moment we were brought into this country. From being beaten if they spoke their native language, to families being ripped apart, to the females being raped, blacks have faced hardships that go beyond "Oooh, girlie, if you had a nice big set of tits, you'd be soooo HOT!"

Naw, for the black woman, she's told her butt is too big (until recent times with J.Lo getting all that love for her big ass) her lips too juicy, her attitude too…fierce. Well, guess what? Too bad. I am a proud black woman, proud of my heritage, mixed though it may be; I proudly claim my black heritage, although I am a woman of many races. I proudly claim my hips, my thighs, my big ass! I proudly claim my intelligence, my ability to adapt and survive and my fierceness. I would never seek to alter anything the Creator blessed me with. And if someone, some man, some woman, some whomever, doesn’t like it, that’s their issue, not mine.

It saddens when my beautiful daughter turns to me and says “mommy why aren’t there any black Barbie princess movies? And why do all the Barbie’s have straight hair, even if they’re black?” Now, keep in mind, my daughter has hair down to her bottom, very curly, and has recently asked me to loc it, like her momma’s. (And yep I started her locs.) My child, also of mixed heritage, strongly identifies with her black heritage (wonder where she got that from, hmmm?) I said to my child “Sweetie, hopefully when you become a Mommy, the world will be a different place and your little girl can have a Barbie with afro puffs, loc’d hair, or straight hair.” Yes, I always seek to empower my daughter, to educate her, to show her that black is really beautiful. Not that it’s better, or she’s better than anyone else based on her pretty brown skin, but she sure is just as good, that her color doesn’t define her. So, if my child is asking these questions, and looking at the world around her, you have to understand that she’s not alone. There are thousands of other little brown girls thinking and asking the same thing. Unfortunately, some may not have a mommy who is hell bent on teaching her child to be proud of her pretty brown skin. But really, in a nation where historically blacks have been taught that their skin is ugly, their naturally coiled hair, ugly, is it any wonder why some seek to “bleach” their skin, or relax their glorious kinks?

Syneca said...

Well doesn't this take the cake? 10,000+ stupid men and women all in the same place! Hmmm, maybe that's a good thing. Think we could just erect a fence and keep them there?

I, for one, feel profoundly sorry for anyone who feels that they have to measure up to some "ideal" version of what a woman is to feel desirable or worthly. But then age does put a different slant on things. As we get older and hopefully wiser we realize that it's not what's on the outside that counts and we start to develop as people, letting our self-esteeem stem from our accomplisments, our goals and our inner self.

Maybe women like this just have to walk that path to come to an understanding of how false it really is.

And as for the men ... grow up boys! You're taking pruriency to a new sickening level.

Jaid Black said...

Kim, I know what you're saying but I still don't think it's any different. In the end the message is the same: hate yourself. This is a message women of all colors have had to fend against for centuries. From Chinese women binding their feet to Caucasian women hemorrhaging from corsets, the disdain of everything female is a history all women share.

Again, I know what you're saying and I respect it, but at the end of the day bleaching your skin and getting fake tits both result from an extremely ingrained sense of self-hatred. People just don't mutilate their bodies unless they truly loathe themselves. But that's my .02.

Jaid Black said...

"David", you made a good point. Too bad it was lost in all the flames from your post and had to be deleted.

Check out our rules here: personal attacks and flaming posts are automatically deleted.

Anonymous said...

Kim, moms like you are the first line of defense against self-hatred among girls that leads to all kinds of self-mutilation in the name of fitting in or being accepted. I saw a thing on television recently about Asian women having their eyes surgically altered to be more Western-looking. Children at a certain age will do almost anything to fit in with the crowd, and girls will do almost anything to be attractive, as defined by the dominant culture and its media. But if girls are taught that their value goes far beyond physical appearance and that satisfaction in life goes far beyond getting men to chase you, they have a much better chance of emerging from adolescence intact.

Rena Marks said...

How many of you black women think it might be a teeny bit of envy??

While I'm not black, I attract black men due to the natural J Lo booty. Little bit of bragging here.

Know how many white women use the "going on a cruise" excuse to braid their hair? The only time since Bo Derek when it's acceptable?

So while not admitting to their black envy, how many of us white girls are with black men? How many of us wish we could wear braids, twists, or dreads? How many of us want the booties?

Oh, and by the way, how many white girls have fake bakes so dark they nearly look black? How many are injecting their lips?

So Jaid has a point, mostly it's ALL females unhappy with their bodies, due to standards of being told what's beautiful. Caucasian, Asian, black.

I might be a little bit of a feminist, but I think it boils down to a men/women thing.

After all, why do we wear makeup and men don't?

Rena Marks said...

Ooh, and one last thing. I met a young girl the other night that I was so impressed with. It was in a bar, so obviously looks were important. She had the condition in which her eyes were bugged out and were kind of looking in opposite directions. You know, when their ears are too low on their head? But she was absolutely beautiful. She had no qualms about her looks, and neither did anyone else. Her beauty was on the inside and it shone through. Why can't the rest of us be like that?

Kimberly Kaye Terry said...

Tina, I know what you’re saying as well, and you know I respect your views, girl. I think for me, as a woman of color, I see things from a dual “minority” perspective. You know what I mean? I share with all my sisters of the world a commonality of oppression. We live in a world where men, for the majority, are the ones in power, in most arenas. From social to political to academic men have long dictated social norms. This can be seen everywhere, as you and Susan pointed out. From China and foot binding, to Africa—where in Africa, female castration occurs as well as flattening of young girls breasts.

But, as I said, I would argue that for women of color we often can face additional issues that unless you are a woman of color, it’s difficult to explain. The reason for our (black women) behavior is layered with so many psychosocial reasons, so complex and intertwined with our history it would take me finishing my dissertation for my PhD to really delve into! But, I will say that in my previous profession as a therapist and life coach, I often came across self hatred, and it was surprising to me, although it shouldn’t have been, that regardless of education, race, socioeconomic status, those who suffered from self-hatred, of whatever variety, were completely unaware they did so. It is such a part of our lives, that many of us, myself included, have to really do soul searching and seek to learn, actively why we do the things we do, why we react the way we do to our bodies, our facial features, our hair, whatever. So, to bring it back around to cosmetic changes and in particular breast augmentation, for me, I don’t really care if a woman wants breast implants, breasts lifted (lord knows after nursing my child for TWO YEARS, I wouldn’t be adverse to this) or breast reduction, that is not my issue. Any change to your body is your choice.

I would only say that make sure your reasons for wanting it are healthy. That you’re not trying to fit anyone’s image of what makes a woman beautiful. Because if that’s the reason, then nine times out of ten, you will eventually find something else “undesirable” on your body and find yourself caught in a vicious cycle you will find hard to get out of. I’ve seen it happen.

Okay enough from me, lol! I need to go write. Loved the comments, ladies, keep on keepin’ on, sistahs!!


Anonymous said...

Amen, Kim. I've been working with an 80-year-old black (male) psychiatrist who says he still feels the pain of the messages he got as a little boy that he was worthless and ugly because of his race. He says it takes years to unbury and confront those messages, and even after you do, you never quite get over it. You just learn to deal with it.

Kimberly Kaye Terry said...

Okay, so I came back again, lol! Susan, I completely understand where your client is coming from. It is something that many blacks have to face and conquer, if they choose to continue to grow, and as you know, we never stop growing, learning, throughout our lives.

I wanted to also say that it is not only limited to the way we feel and react to our body, hair, skin, this disconnect--it also affects how we interact with others. Whenever the issue of race comes up, in whatever arena, it can quickly become heated and sometimes very volatile. On both sides. Because of one’s on perspective, a simple comment on the topic can set off a response that catches the one who made the comment off guard. That’s because again, based on one’s perspective, they see things differently.

So, in addition to learning and seeking to understand what makes us tick as individuals, I think a key to women coming into their own, so to speak, to truly become a sisterhood, despite race, color or creed, we should actively try and learn about each other’s individual culture/race. If we did that, women would indeed be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

But, as is the case in all of humanity, this doesn’t always happen and we are (some) divided. And you know what they say…a house divided will fall. I am blessed to have women in my life who are diverse in their racial and cultural make up. I have forged a bond of true sisterhood with them, and they with me. Although I may not always agree with their views, or they with mine, we respect and love each other. Even when we want to knock the other one upside the head sometimes. :)

okay. going to write. for real this time ;)


Jaid Black said...

Good points all, ladies.

horror said...

God I thought I could get away from Jordan. I live in the UK and she is always in the papers and mags (thank god I don't read them, partly because SHE'S in them). It also doesn't surprise me she said that. She's a no-bit celeb (being on reality tv shows) who like to stir up publicity and get noticed. How sad is that!!!!!! (and that on top of the boob job)

I agreed with syneca, let bait those people with the promise of fame and media coverage and put a fence around them.

We can even do our own scientist experimence, what came first jordan or the boob job??????

Anonymous said...

Why am I not surprised at this? Oh yeah, must be all those "Girls gone wild" commercials running ad nauseam on every channel after 12AM. Someone please tell me why the men most likely to be involved in this don't feel they need a little work done on themselves?