Monday, October 29, 2007

Oh say, can you C?

When it comes to thongs, our Quiminologists are divided. Rather like the asses of those who like wearing ‘em. (The phrase “cheese slicer” always comes to mind.) But recent research turned up some interesting developments in the world of thongs - those delightful undergarments with which we ladies cover our quims.

Thongs were, of course, designed by a bunch of drunken engineers with serious passive-aggressive issues against women. We gals would certainly choose to spend endless hours fishing bits of lace out of our butt cracks, right? There are no visible panty lines, granted, but on the whole it’s easier to leave off the panties entirely than deal with the mechanics of a thong. Especially if you’re blessed with an abundant derriere, like so many of our Quiminology staffers. (Computer Butt Syndrome.)

However, when we ran across this C-thong device (see photos below), we were all glued to our monitors. Once again, those drunken engineers have come up with an idea guaranteed to drive women to drink alongside them.

This delightful…er…thong thing is crafted with some kind of wiring, making it flexible and keeping it (allegedly) in place. Our take on this? Well, if you’re short a boomerang at any time, this would work and could possibly double as a hair band in a pinch.(No pun intended.) If you’re seriously into discomfort, this would also fit the bill. It doesn’t look like it would fit any of us. When someone suggested we get one and do more research, our staffers suddenly remembered meetings elsewhere and the room emptied in zero point two microseconds.

So overall, the vote on this little quim-protector is an emphatic NO. If anyone out there has one, do let us know if it works? Feel free to send photos and your address. We’ll send ointment for the chafed spots and a pair of soft cotton knickers.


Anonymous said...

Ouch! Yes, definitely not engineered by a woman. What, exactly is the point of this contraption? To give a woman all of the discomfort but none of the protection of a chastity belt? To make sure no short curlies get caught in her petticoat? Does it soak up emissions? Keep you from falling asleep at work? Or does it perhaps have an orthopedic function? Or maybe it's a new fashion device that, like tattoos and piercings, indicate the wearer's tolerance for, perhaps even enjoyment of pain. I'm utterly mystified.

Sahara Kelly said...

I have no idea, Susan!! We found this on a British website - doesn't seem to have migrated across the Atlantic yet. Of course, you have to remember the British also invented hanging, drawing and quartering!! I reckon it was the same guy!! LOL

Anonymous said...

Eww. Just ewww.

horror said...

Ouch, pinch and women hating man invented that, is all that comes to mind when I saw that ...... that chastity belt thingy.

And we know for a fact is wasn't just one guy who invented it, it was a whole group of men that came up with that one idea. Next thing you know its gonna be c-thong for your nipples.

And you just know there's a group of paris hilton loving freaks who are actually gonna buy that thing.

I live in the UK and if I see one of those on the selves, I'm gonna walk out of the shop wearing it on my head. I would rather watch US's and UK's next top model for a day then wear that thing.


Alix said...

ok that's just wack, however I bet $10 that's what women said the first time the thong was introduct.
(ok they probable didn't say wack but u get the drift)

JavaJenny said...

Why bother wearing one of those, if you don't want your undies to show then go commando...I do...

Anonymous said...

Whats the site where you found this?