Wednesday, October 24, 2007


We've been so serious this week, I figured it was time for something fun. Sahara's off someplace in a feathered hat, so I've reached into my quiminology files to bring out a couple of my favorite quiminology terms.

Jelly Roll
There is some disagreement among musicians and the general public as to weather “jelly roll” refers to the male or the female sexual apparatus. However, any quim expert—or quiminologist, as we like to be called—worth her salt will tell you that jelly roll as a term for women’s genitals goes back more than a century.
“Jelly” has been used to refer to semen for even longer—at least back to the early 1600s—and if you’ve never heard a guy talking about jerking his jelly before, I’ll bet you can figure out what it means right quick.
The likewise aptly descriptive “jelly bag” refers to the scrotum. Jelly roll came to have a broader and more confusing meaning in the late 1800s and early 1900s, when blues singers and others used it to mean just about anything related to sex and the southerly anatomy of either sex. More recent lyricists seem to think of it more as a penis than a vulva.
The look of the actual object may be at least partially responsible for the confusion. A jelly roll is a log-shaped confection made of a thin sponge cake smeared with jelly and sometimes cream, then rolled into a very male-looking cylinder and finally sliced into a very female-looking circle with a creamy, jelly-filled center. Either way, it’s a yummy image, and we don’t have to think up our own sentences for examples. Popular music is filled with them: “Come over here, baby and put the jelly in my jelly roll.”

Honey Pot
If you can get past the initial image of Winnie the Pooh sticking his finger in a clay jar, the idea of your foo-foo as a honey pot is actually quite lovely. The term in this capacity was obviously coined by someone with a huge affection for women and their vaginal secretions. Honey is thick and sweet and golden—even precious in some times and places. It’s an appetizing term and still earthy enough to avoid the air of some goody-two-shoes euphemism. Let’s try it in a sentence: "If you give me a bite of your cannoli, I’ll let you taste my honey pot." That should do the trick. What healthy heterosexual man would turn down an offer like that?

For more quiminological terms, read the Twatchamacallit column in our emagazine, Lady Jaided.

1 comment:

Rae said...

As far as foodie-named quims, I definitely have a preference for Honey Pot...Jelly Roll just rubs me the wrong way (and that is just not acceptable for MY quim)