Quiminology

The Sophisticated Vulva

There's something quite lovely and refined about the word "vulva." It has a sensual, civilized sound, evoking images of soft, velvety, luxurious textures. It's not a nasty word that schoolboys repeat with snickering leers. And yet it doesn't have the clinical sound of "vagina". It's a grown-up word that rolls off the tongue smoothly and sounds especially nice when whispered in your ear by a gentleman in a tuxedo. With a V at both ends, it even calls for a visual image of the thing it represents. Picture George Clooney nibbling your shoulder, slipping a hand up your skirt, and murmuring this: “Paris was awful without you, my love. Everything—the incredible food and wine, the crazy, sexy romance of the place—reminded me of you and your delicious vulva.” Our most wonderful designer, Marshmallow, chose a Georgia O'Keefe painting to go with this entry because she felt "vulva" was a word Georgia might have used. For more vulvular terms, check out Lady Jaided's Twatchamacallit columns.