Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Empress on the Mount

Big E:
Is there any way to tell if a man is a good lay before going to all the trouble and risk of actually doing it with him?

Sure, just ask him *hysterical laughter ensues*.

Honored Highness:
My dh has a foot fetish. I have always found this charming because he loves to massage my feet and give me pedicures, which I adore. The problem is, he recently quit a very good job and started working at a shoe store. Should I be worried?

Worried? No. Running? Hell YES! Good God, I’m as fetishistic as the next person but only in a fun, whip-and-spurs kind of way. Your dh has gone way beyond fun.
You do have one happy point to consider. At least get a great pair of runners out of him before you bolt. Or, even better, a great pair of boots so you can kick him to the kerb.

Wise One:
I’m 41 years old and recently divorced. A 29-year-old man who works in my building keeps asking me out. He’s cute and nice but I think I’m too old for him so I keep telling him no. He says I shouldn’t let age get in the way if I find him attractive, which I do. I just have a hard time believing he finds me attractive. I’m not bad looking but I’m plain and a little bit overweight. He has a good job, so I don’t think he’s looking for a sugar mamma. Am I being a lecherous old lady?
Mrs. Robinson.

No, you’re being a git. Grab him (don’t forget the rope and handcuffs) and give him the ride of his life.
Bloody hell, you have a salivating young stud desperate to show you every fantasy you’ve never had and you’re worried about age and a couple of pounds? Oh please, don’t make me go over there and hurt you. You describe yourself as “a little bit overweight,” which I’m willing to bet means you have tits he’d die to play with and an arse that keeps him awake at night. Use him for mindless sex, you fool!
On second thought, perhaps leave the handcuffs until the second date. Some guys are a bit iffy about that. Most odd.

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