Monday, November 24, 2008

There's More To It Than Just Do It

We've blogged before about men calling for couples to have daily sex for anywhere from a month to an entire year to improve their marriages. The latest call to action was reported in the New York Times, as if it's never happened before. Rev. Ed Young advised his flock to have sex every day for seven days to strengthen their marriage--a feat at which even he failed, by the way.
After the weeklong challenge was over, he advised couples to continue to "double up on the amount of intimacy we have in marriage. And when I say intimacy, I don't mean holding hands in the park or a back rub." See, this is one reason some women don't want to have sex every day. Because so many men neglect the less goal-oriented types of intimacy such as holding hands in the park and back rubs. I can't help wondering if Rev. Young issued the challenge so he could get laid more often himself.
Only he knows for sure, but my advice to him: Double up on affection and true emotional intimacy, and maybe you won't have to drag your entire congregation into the act to get yourself laid more often. Check out the Relevant Church in Tampa, which calls for 30 days of daily sex but also actually advises participants about communication, emotional intimacy and mutual satisfaction.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Stocking Stuffers for Naughty Boys and Girls

I can’t believe it! That time of the year has arrived. What better way to show how much you care than with a gift meant to tantalize the senses? I wanted to review a few items I thought would make great gifts and in doing so, cover a spectrum of price and product possibilities. Offering my opinion on more than just toys was a must for a few different reasons.

First, I think everyone should take a step outside of the box every now and then. Maybe try something a bit kinky or if that is already your thing, the possibility of slowing things down for a nice romantic evening might be just what is needed to shake up your world and bring a breath of fresh air.

Adult toys make wonderful gifts in my opinion. What better way to show you care than by showering your loved one with an erotic gift, especially if given with the intention of using together?

Nothing says have a great holiday quite like a new vibrator. This month I reviewed a higher end model, something I had hoped would make a wonderful gift. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about this toy and hope you will too so be sure and add it to your Christmas list. If you’ve been very naughty I am sure your Santa will deliver!

Besides hearing all those naughty words your lover(s) whisper into your ear, the sense of taste, touch and smell add to the overall sexual experience. Which brings me to Raspberry Kiss. This set stirs the senses and arouses the mind. I thought this one would nicely cover any romantic aspects of the holiday season. Think candlelit dinners, soft and sultry music, erotic massages and lots of licking and nibbling. This set will make you want to find all of those sexy little spots on your partner’s body you’ve been overlooking and then stimulate them until the moaning and begging for more make it impossible to wait another second.

And last but not least, being the bondage slut that I am, I just had to find a product on a topic near and dear to my heart. After all, I think everyone should have the chance to experience a bit of kink. The Door Jam Cuffs might not be made for the hardcore bondage enthusiast but they sure the hell are a lot of fun. So give them a try. You never know, you might just like it!

As always please feel free to drop me a line. Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to see in The Buzz. I’ll see next month where we’ll go over some naughty little items I think would make great stocking stuffers.

Yours in Pleasure,
Maggie Casper

Iris: The Cadillac of Vibrators

My first thought upon receiving the Iris was that I was holding the Cadillac of vibrators in my greedy little hands. It was beautifully packaged in a nice little satin drawstring baggie and sturdy yet elegant box to keep it safe during shipping.

I could only find one thing that might be considered a downfall to the Iris and that would be the higher end price tag. However, after considering what you get with this elegant little toy, compared to most other G-Spot vibes, I believe you will find it well worth the cost. Now let me tell you what I loved about the Iris.

Not only is this little baby rechargeable, meaning no more batteries running down right as you’re about to pay homage to the Goddess O, and it comes with a one-year warranty!

The sleek design feels divine in my hand as well as on and in my sensitive girly bits. It is not awkward or bulky in the least. The control button is absolutely wonderful. It does everything needed without getting in the way or being confusing and best of all, it’s lockable for travel purposes. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a big wet kiss in my opinion.

The insertable end is made of hypoallergenic, phthalate-free materials and is textured enough to tickle all your senses but not so much that it is overkill. Besides the locking feature and rechargeable battery, my favorite feature is the dual vibrating mechanisms in this wonderful toy. One is placed at the tip and the other mid-shaft. They can be used simultaneously or individually and as a steady vibration of varying intensities or as pulsations also of varying intensities and degrees. The variety available with this amazing toy adds to its awesome charm.

The Iris is a G-Spot vibrator that hits the spot better than any other I have played with. My G-Spot tends to be on the tricky side to find and usually requires some fairly intense and imaginative maneuvering on my part but that doesn’t seem to be the case with the Iris. The slight curve is just right for the deep angled penetration needed to find that special little bundle of nerves. Then, with the different choices of vibrating and pulsing between the two separate mechanisms, the ability to massage yourself over the edge is easier than ever. It also serves extremely well for external clitoral stimulation if that’s where your pleasure lies.

I don’t see any way you can go wrong with the Iris. Its design is beautifully flawless and comes with numerous perks. It is easy to clean and sturdily made. With proper care, including only the use of water-based lubricants, the Iris should prove durable enough for even the most prolific of self-pleasurers.

9 inches total length
5.5 inches insertable length
4.5 inches circumference
Battery Info: Charger included
Material: Phthalate-free materials, plastic and silicone

Manufacturer: Lelo
Price (subject to change): $114.95

Kama Sutra’s Raspberry Kiss: Good Enough to Eat

I can’t say enough good about Kama Sutra. Over the years I have used many of their products and found all of them to be wonderful additions to any sensual or sexual experience. The same can be said of the Raspberry Kiss collection.

Raspberry Kiss consists of Raspberry flavored Oil of Love, Pleasure Balm and Honey Dust. I have used each of these products before but not necessarily in this particular flavor. I am a bit skeptical of fruity flavored products. I tend to stay with the more traditional mints and such since most times I consider the others to be overkill. I am happy to announce, however, that the raspberry flavor of all three products, while sweet, is not overly so.

Oil of Love is a divine companion to any erotic massage. I absolutely adore how it warms with contact. For those who enjoy a bit of heat, Oil of Love is great for external genital massage. A breath lightly feathered over your most sensitive parts will have you writhing in pleasure and begging for more. I really like Oil of Love for sensual play; however, for me personally it is too heavy for true massage leaving the skin just a little too tacky.

On the opposite end of the spectrum as far as sensations go is Kama Sutra’s Pleasure Balm. If you enjoy that cooling, tingling effect then this is the stuff for you. A little bit rubbed on your clitoris will to get your motor running or intensify the sensations you are already feeling.

I have heard many good things about Pleasure Balm and its numbing effects helping with staying power. I can’t comment on the staying power part--the thought provokes visions of me walking bowlegged for days--but the numbing effects are great for the gag reflex when used for oral sex. Another use for the very versatile Pleasure Balm is to mask the taste for those who do not enjoy that particular aspect of going down on your partner(s). I had only tried this product in the mint flavor and must say, I enjoy the raspberry much better as far as taste goes.

Honey Dust is one of those must-have items where I’m concerned. Its light powdery texture feels great on the body. The included feather brush only adds to the sensation. If used lightly there is no sticky, pasty residue like with other flavored powders. It tastes great so licking and nibbling are things you will want to as much as possible. Kama Sutra’s Honey Dust also smells absolutely decadent. A light dusting of the powder over your body before a night out is sure to get attention. I enjoy dusting it on my bed sheets before a night of sexual exploration. When I’m in a romantic mood, it brings things together very nicely.

The money-saving aspect of purchasing this set combined instead of buying the items separately is a factor as well. It comes packaged in a gorgeous reusable tin that will surely come in handy later on for hiding all sorts of naughty little items…think condoms and lube and batteries, oh my!

Price: $44.95

Door Jam Cuffs: Intro to Bondage

Being a lover of bondage I am always up for trying new ways of being tied down, or up as the case may be. I found the Door Jam Cuffs to be not only great fun but a very neat design. They are lightweight and comfortable yet sturdy enough for a good time. They require no installation, which means they can be used anywhere with a door, making them great for travel and on the spot, spur of the moment type of play. That aspect alone makes them a great addition to any toy bag. The low cost only adds to their attractiveness.

They wouldn’t work beneath my door for ankle restraint due to too much space but that was easy enough to work around by opening the door and slipping one in each side at ankle height. The cuffs are detachable so they can be removed from the door straps and then fastened to each other for a traditional behind the back or in front position or attached to something else such as a chain around the waist, bed frame, another set on the ankles, etc. The sky is the limit. My suggestion is to purchase two sets so you will have both ankles and wrists covered without having to choose between the two.

The only possible negative I found to the Door Jam Cuffs is size. If your wrist is smaller than about 5.5 to 6 inches, they might not work for you. Otherwise, these are great cuffs, especially for beginners to bondage or those who want comfort with their kink. They are easy to get in and out of, taking only seconds and if the need arose they have an approximate 50-pound breakaway for self release.

Price: $26.95
Featured products are supplied by Vibe Review. To see more sexual enhancement product reviews, visit Lady Jaided ezine's The Buzz.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Practice, Practice, Practice!

It’s commonly agreed among sex therapists that orgasm is more often learned than spontaneous for females. That’s not to say girls never have spontaneous orgasms. Many can and do--even before puberty. However, they might not recognize these experiences as sexual in nature, or they might be discouraged from exploring genital sensations and consequently not develop their orgasmic tendencies. That means a girl who explores her body and experiments with her sexual response is more likely to have orgasmic sex later in life.

Source: Sex Matters for Women by Sally Foley, Sally A. Kope and Dennis P. Sugrue

For more sexual arcana, see Lady Jaided's Who Knew? feature every month.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Quiminology: Bitchcake

Since women have reclaimed the word “bitch” it has taken on a whole new feel. It’s no longer an insult, but rather acknowledgment of our strength and authority. That’s why we kinda like the sound of bitchcake, though it’s clearly not for everyone. It makes our genitals seem tasty but also powerful and independent.
For more tasty tidbits about women's sexuality, check out Lady Jaided ezine

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Stand and Deliver:The Politics of Peeing

“Fantasies of omnipotence, especially those of a sadistic character, are as a matter of fact more easily associated with the jet of urine passed by the male.”
Karen Horney
Feminine Psychology
On the Genesis of the Castration Complex circa 1922

“Male urination really is an accomplishment, an arc of transcendence.”
Camille Paglia
Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence From Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson

“…that’s bullshit.”
Becky Flanders
2008 interview with Lady Jaided and Sex Talk

There was a time when Becky Flanders was envious of boys’ ability to pee any time, any place, standing up with their pants on. But no longer. Now, she can stand and deliver with the best of them. In fact, she can aim her urine well enough to hit a target--say a porcelain teacup or a toy airplane. She could probably write her name in the snow if she felt like it.

But Becky Flanders is on a more important mission.

For the young artist and graduate student, upright peeing is a political act, one that challenges our very notions of gender. Freudian psychoanalyst Karen Horney said that penis envy originates in the ability of boys to hold their penises in their hands and urinate freely without shame. A mere century later, Becky has crashed both the pee and shame barriers with her recent Tampa exhibition featuring a series of explicit photos of herself directing sparkling streams of piss at various targets and receptacles, from toy airplanes and ants to delicate china cups. She even has a triptych that shows three different methods for manipulating a woman’s equipment in order to direct the flow.

Though the photos are detailed and do not shy away from showing pretty much everything, there’s really nothing sexual about them. “I try to keep the work out of fetish territory,” she says. “The images don’t address pleasure or porn. They’re about power politics, the construction of gender through things like how pants are designed.” Pants, says Becky, even those for women, are designed to allow men easy access to their penises precisely so they can pee easily. Even a woman who can pee standing up still has to pull her pants down. So Becky retrofitted pants, using zippers and Velcro to enlarge the fly all the way to the tailbone.

Becky began exploring the idea of approaching the power politics of pee as art after enrolling in the masters studio art program at the University of South Florida. She researched historical references to women who could urinate like men. She found very few mentions and no visual evidence.

However, the research did begin to give an historical context to the images starting to form in her mind, and many of the pieces in her exhibition contain allusions to historical and art historical figures and ideas. One is a photograph of herself dressed as Marie Antoinette wearing a cake on her head and peeing into a tiny cup. Becky points out that if you look closely, you can see the corona of the urine splashing out of the cup. “It’s part of the metaphor,” she explains. “Not only is she corseted, with this cake on her head that blinds her, but she’s aiming into a too-small container. Isn’t that what femininity does? It’s not a natural feat.”

To read the rest of this article for free and see more pictures of Becky's work, go here.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I don't need a man

But damn they can be fun. In fact, when it comes to the ultimate sex toy, men have my vote. Bless Mother Nature for providing them with all those wonderful parts - lips and teeth and tongues, fingers and hands and ... well other interesting anatomical appendenges that can provide so much pleasure. So while satisfaction isn't necessarily dependent upon having a man, I bet we'd all agree that having a man feast his way down from your neck beats the heck out of .... well damn, it's a real winner.