Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To New Beginnings, Happy Endings

To greet 2009 in just the right spirit, we put together a little New Year’s party just for you over at Lady Jaided. Yes, we know you love your gal pals, but you’re the only woman at this party, and these handsome hunks are falling all over themselves to get your attention, ply you with champagne and ring in the new year with some fireworks.

Stay as late as you want, drink as much as you want, and don’t do anything you couldn’t read about in Lady Jaided or an Ellora’s Cave book. And don’t worry about the morning after. What happens at the Cave stays at the Cave. Happy New Year!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Sperm Stoppers

It's about time that research into male contraceptives gave us some fresh options, dontcha think? Not that we women don't love taking cancer-inducing hormones for 20+ years, or having torture devices shoved into or clamped around our cervix. And condoms? Okay, they prevent disease, which is great, but for a disease-free monogamous couple, they are so medieval. Among some of the more promising methods under investigation:

1. Underpants that suppress sperm production by heating the scrotum

2. Plugs inserted into the vas deferens that block the flow of sperm or render sperm incapable of fertilization via electric current

3. Male hormones that block the production of sperm

4. Blood pressure medication that makes sperm membrane too rigid to fertilize egg

5. An enzyme, administered in pill or patch form that renders sperm incapable of detecting and fertilizing an egg

6. A Chinese plant that lowers sperm density and motility

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Buzz

Lubricating Your Holidays

There is no better time of year to try and find the perfect lube. After all it is the season for giving and for stuffing. I was talking about stuffing those stockings, you pervs, so get your mind out of the gutter and on to these little bottles of delight. With all the sensation lubes available, personal lubrication is no longer used only out of necessity, though inadequate lubricant is the Number 1 reason for condom failure, so if you are gloving up, do not forget to lube up as well. But back to pleasure. Slick and wet, lubes add delight to solo and shared sex. The trouble is there are just way too many choices. In this article I’ll help out a little with the decision-making process or at the very least, let you all in on a bit of info and maybe even a new product or two you didn’t know existed.

There are as many choices in personal lubricants as there are sexual positions. The main difference is that choosing and experimenting with the perfect lube to fit your mood is not nearly as much fun as figuring out which position to try next. So what is a woman to do?

First, ask yourself a couple of questions: What is the lube going to be used for? Do you or your partner have any allergies? Once you have the answers to your questions your shopping can begin. It is important to read labels since some lubes have things like nonoxynol-9 and sugar in them. I have an allergy to nonoxynol-9 so am always on the lookout and sugar, as you probably know, can cause yeast infections.

I have a few favorites I want to tell you about but first I want to go over some basics about different lube types and their uses.

Water-based lubricants do not contain oil and therefore are safe for both condom usage and toys. Typically composed of water and glycerin, they can sometimes feel sticky as well as having the tendency to dry faster than other choices so it is always wise to have extra handy.

Silicone-based lubricants are thicker and longer lasting than water-based making them wonderful not only for anal sex and water sex, but just sex in general. They are also safe to use with condoms. One drawback of a silicone-based lube is that it is harder to clean up. Soap and water are needed and silicone-based lubes can stain fabric. An important thing to remember if you choose a silicone-based lube is that it is not compatible with silicone sex toys. Most pre-lubricated condoms sold use a silicone-based lube as well so be sure to check the label before you use them on your toys or you might very well end up with your favorite toy turning into a tacky and sticky mess!

Oil-based lubricants will break down latex condoms making them susceptible not only to breakage but also rendering them useless in inhibiting the spread of disease. And ladies, don’t forget about your latex diaphragm. Oil-based lube will also break it down, possibly resulting in pregnancy so please beware. Oil-based lubricants are used mainly for male masturbation and anal sex because the oils are not healthy for the vagina often causing infection. Things like lotions, petroleum jelly and baby oil are included in the list of oil-based lubricants so read the labels and be sure of what you are using before the fun begins.

There is another category I would like to include briefly and that is the plethora of flavored and stimulating lubricants available out there. The flavored are often sweetened so may not be the best thing to use as an internal lube but they sure can be a fun and tasty treat. The warming and cooling ones are really nice. I tend to prefer the cooling ones myself. There is just something about the cold tingling sensations that make all my girly parts stand up and take notice. I have just recently started using these so my best advice to you is to experiment and have fun.

Here are some thoughts on a few of my favorite personal lubricants. One is a natural lubricant for those of you who have sensitivities. Next is what I consider the best all-around water-based lube and last but not least is my favorite (for now) sensation lube. I am having fun trying these out. All three of these are water-based. While I don’t have an aversion to silicone-based lubricants, I don’t use them often because of their incompatibility with silicone toys.

Yours in Pleasure,
Maggie Casper

Go Natural
O’My Original Lube

There is just no way around the need for a good personal lubricant so why not get something that not only feels wonderful but is also healthy for your body and free from nasty chemicals often found in today’s products?

O’My’s Original Natural lubricant is just that, natural. It is wonderfully slick without being slimy and it lasts longer than other water-based personal lubricants I have tried such as Astroglide. It is paraben-free and contains no artificial flavoring, making it great for those with skin sensitivities. Its light , natural taste makes it perfect for nights where oral sex might happen right in the middle of the fun. It’s water based so it’s latex compatible as well as easy to clean up. It won’t stain your sheets or clothes!

Add another dimension of sensation to your play. Whether you use O’My Original with a partner or alone you will enjoy its non-greasy, non-sticky, slippery feel. I know I do!

Make It Smooth
Liquid Silk

Liquid Silk is a creamy water-based lube that just keeps going. It doesn’t dry sticky or tacky at all. As a matter of fact, it absorbs into the skin and feels as smooth as a good lotion. I had gone into a fabulous little store in San Diego called Pleasures and Treasures in search of a water-based lube that would stand up to anal play. Without even time to blink the owner pulled from the shelf a bottle of Liquid Silk and offered me a sample to rub around my hands. I had tried many other water-based lubes and always got that icky feeling after sampling them but that was not the case at all with Liquid Silk so of course I bought a bottle. It’s easy to clean up a wet washcloth. I must say, it has served its purpose and then some.

The only downfall I have found to Liquid Silk is a slight pasty smell when it’s still in the bottle or freshly pumped. Once the lotion is rubbed into the skin however, the smell goes away and only a fresh, clean scent is left behind.

Add That Extra Something
Tantric Love Stimulating Lubricant

I came across this little bottle of sunshine the first time at a toy party held by one of my friends. The manufacturer of this product also makes a stimulating gel, which is different from the actual lubricant. Be sure and read the bottle carefully if you are looking for an lubricant because the gel is not meant be used internally.

Tantric Lovers Lubricant is absolutely awesome! I have used a few others but they just didn’t stack up. They either didn’t last long enough or didn’t work at all. This lubricant is water based so latex safe. It gives a wonderful mix of heat and tingling cool, adding to the intense sensations already coursing through your body. It is thicker than most water-based lubes and a little goes a long way. I like the slickness of it on my body. It stimulates the clit perfectly, helping with arousal. While Tantric Lovers Lubricant will not make you orgasm or cure those who have a hard time reaching the stars, it will definitely help. I absolutely love to use it on my clit while masturbating with either toys or just my fingers. When used internally both vaginally and anally, it feels divine. I have also heard from a partner that it caused quite a sensation on the head of his cock when used during a hand job. After preparing yourself, try adding a couple of drops to the inside tip of a condom before rolling it on. Fun, fun all around!

If you are new to stimulating lubricants and would like to try something fun and amazing that will not break your budget, Tantric Lovers Stimulating Lubricant might just be the thing for you!

Maggie Casper is the author of several erotic romance books published by Ellora's Cave.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Enchanting Santas

We give a lot of attention to muscle boys most of the year. But at Christmas, it’s good to remember that men with money can be attractive too. Especially if they like to spend it on you. So in keeping with the spirit of the season, let’s hear it for men bearing gifts!
To see more gift-enhanced hunks, check out December's Man Candy in Lady Jaided ezine.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Wall Street Journal reported that experts say a growing number of marriages are dissolving because of virtual infidelity. Ric Hoogestraat is a good example. According to the article, he spends from 4 to 14 hours a day on Second Life, a popular virtual reality fantasy world in which his avatar is married to another avatar of a woman in another city. They spend several hours together every night, and even have sex and own property and dogs together online. He claims what he’s doing is no different from his real-life wife, Sue, watching television. So far, Sue has elected not to leave him, despite urging from her family to do so.

For more odd sexual arcana, see Who Knew? in Lady Jaided Ezine.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Quiminology: Shake Your Moneymaker

At first glance, you might say the term "moneymaker" is degrading, implying as it does prostitution. But the truth is women carry huge financial power in their loins. Men will pay any price, literally and figuratively, to get between a woman’s legs. If women harnessed that power—especially in youth when interest rates are highest—we’d probably be able to retire by age 40, about the time interest rates start to decline.
For more terms for women's genitals, see Lady Jaided's Twatchamacallit column.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Experience Preferred

Sex is better after 40
Sex is over once you reach 40. The wild and crazy lovemaking years are long gone, relegated to memories of great sex in your 20s and 30s, never to be recaptured.


Hell no! Sex after 40 can be magical, exciting, free from the typical worries of our 20s and 30s and chock full of adventure and spice. Just because our physical bodies age doesn’t mean our minds and libidos follow suit. How many of us who are over 40 still feel like we’re 25, at least in our minds?

As a woman over 40, I thought that once I reached this stage in my life, sex would occur once in a while and without any oomph. I was wrong. After a divorce and a remarriage, I’m having more sex—better sex—than I did in my 20s and 30s. Is this just me and my own personal experience, I wondered? Are other women over 40 having great sex, too?

To find out the answer, I sent out a nonscientific survey via my romance-writing contacts over the internet, requesting answers from both women and men over 40 about their sex lives. I received responses from 30 women and 10 men. There’s probably at least some bias as my informal survey was sent only to readers and authors of erotic romance. I’m certain there are others who would have different reasons for the increase in their sexual satisfaction but who have never read an erotic romance.

Upon analyzing the survey results, I was surprised to find many commonalities in the respondents’ answers. I wanted to know, of those content with their current sexual situations, what was it that made them so happy. What is different about sex now than when they were younger.
To read the rest of this article, to to Lady Jaided emagazine.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Size Matters

There's a cute site called Curiosite that sells the Condometric, a condom that allows you to easily measure his length in millimeters, which sounds way better than inches. The marketing line is something of a non sequitur, though: "Because what really matters is the size of your confidence." So why measure your dick in the first place? Truth is, according to our totally nonscientific survey, what really seems to matter most to women is girth, not length, if they have to choose one.

Curiosite has lots of other cute stuff you can buy, but my favorite is the page of gifts for your ex. Among them: Dead Fred, a pen dead-man-shaped pen holder that you stab your pen into, and a time bomb alarm clock.