Monday, September 29, 2008

Resist the Thought Police

It's time once again to celebrate banned books, my lovelies. You owe it to yourself and to freedom of thought to read something that someone doesn't want you to this week. It doesn't have to be dull, though. Seven of the 10 most challenged books of 2007 were challenged at least partly because of sexually explicit content, not counting "And Tango Makes Three," which was challenged as anti-family for its portrayal of--gasp!--two male penguins caring for an egg together. "Tango" was also one of two books, along with "The Golden Compass," challenged for their "religious viewpoint." We had no idea penguins were so subversive.

The American Library Association Office of Intellectual Freedom annually reports challenges, which are defined as formal written complaints to a library or school requesting that a book be removed because of content or appropriateness. OIF Director Judith Krug states, “Free access to information is a core American value that should be protected. Not every book is right for each reader, but an individual’s interpretation of a book should not take away my right to select reading materials for my family or myself."

Amen. Go to the office's website for a list of banned books and more info about Banned Books week.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Score One For The Taints

We know some men like to name their dicks and lots of men seem to think with them, but a group of young Ohio men has taken penile anthropomorphics to a whole new level. Meet the new mascot of a fantasy football team called The Taints. In case you travel in classier circles than we do and don't know what a taint is, it's the perineum, that bit of skin between the genitals and the anus. (as in 'taint pussy, 'taint ass) There's no word on what they named this fellow but he looks an awful lot like Ernest Borgnine to us, so we'll call him Ernie for now. We have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him in the future.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hot Mama

There are lots of ways to tell what kind of lover a man will be before you find yourself faced with having to climb out his bathroom window after Mr. Hunk in the bar turns out to be Mr. Clunky in the sack.

Everyone knows you can tell a lot from the way a man kisses. But once a man gets to first base, he already has expectations, putting you in a potentially sticky situation. The earlier you know his sexual IQ, the less time you’ll waste and the fewer sneaky retreats you’ll have to engineer.

Certain places present opportunities to glean the information you need. Hot Mama often shops for carnal companionship at the grocery store, where she can see what a man likes to eat and how he squeezes the melons and sniffs the cheeses.

Oyster bars are also good spots to size up a catch before casting your net. All you have to do is sit and watch to see who passes the oyster test, then pick the one you like best. The oyster test is really quite simple. If a man eats an oyster with gusto, chances are, he’ll be an enthusiastic cunnilinguist, though it doesn’t necessarily attest to his skill.

But one of Hot Mama's favorite places to gauge a man’s sexual prowess is on the dance floor. Dancing is like making love with your clothes on. And Latin dancing is the most seductive of all. The drama and passion of the tango, the sensual rhythms of marimba and meringue, the delicious tease of salsa and cha cha cha get the blood going like nothing else.

That’s why when Hot Mama wants a really sensual lover, someone to seduce her with finesse and fire, she goes to her favorite Latin dance club. It also happens to serve a delicious chicken dish you won’t find anywhere else. It’s sweet and savory and thoroughly delicious with yellow rice, though she often serves it with quinoa and pineapple. It’s also incredibly easy to make.

Tango Thighs

3 pounds of skinless chicken thighs
2 teaspoons cinnamon
¼ cup honey
¼ cup chicken broth
½ cup sherry
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper to taste

Arrange chicken in baking dish and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Combine remaining ingredients in a bowl and pour over chicken, keeping back 2 tablespoons of lime juice. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 3 hours, turning pieces every half hour.

Preheat oven to 375°F and bake 1 hour, basting frequently with pan juices. Sprinkle with remaining lime juice before serving.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

By Syneca Featherstone

Sometimes we all take this sex stuff way too seriously. Sure, it's an intense thing ... breath-taking, mind-blowing, toe-curling and all that.

But sometimes it's just plain fun. And let's face it, giggling and laughing is right up there at the top of the list of stress-relievers, so if you can combine it with sex? Well heck, I'd call that the best medicine of all for what ails you.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Going Rate for a Virgin

The blogs are buzzing about the 22-year-old who's auctioning off her virginity to pay for graduate school--interestingly she's reportedly seeking a masters degree in marriage and family therapy. Her undergraduate degree is allegedly in women's studies. No reliable source has yet bothered to independently confirm her identity or educational status--or even the authenticity of her claims to being a virgin. In fact, the whole thing has a whiff of hoax about it. I wouldn't be surprised to see her on some reality show next or with a spread in Playboy.

She has taken on the pseudonym Natalie Dylan, she says, for safety reasons, and she hopes to raise a million dollars. It sounds high but if we're talking the law of supply and demand, virginity is pretty rare in an attractive 22-year-old. As one person said on a private loop in response to another's comment that she wished she had thought of the idea when she was in college: "Um, I think most of us would had to have thought of it before college, when we still had something to sell."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tempting Transgressions

Pecattiphilia: Sexual excitement from stealing or sinning

News Flash: Sin is sexy. Probably has something to do with the belief that sex is sinful The more taboo you make it, the more compelling it is. If I had known about this fetish in junior high, I would have thought of it as the Catholic School Girl and Preacher’s Kid Fetish. Those were the two groups in my neighborhood who seemed to get off the most on sinning, who were the most creative in coming up with ways to sin and the most energetic in pursuing its pleasures. When Wynona Ryder got busted for shoplifting, people wondered why such a rich, famous person would so such a thing. Maybe she’s a pecattiphiliac.

Monday, September 8, 2008

The Quiminology Files


Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid notwithstanding, it looks like it’s still gonna be a while before a woman occupies the real Oval Office, so we’ll have to try to find comfort in the smaller oval office—the only one we do completely control access to. Our ultimate power base, if you will. We aren’t crazy about the idea of a man thinking of our vadge as the oval office, though. Calls forth images of a lying, bossy asshole who acts like he owns a place when he is really just a temporary occupant.
For more quiminology gems and other profound sexual insights, visit Lady Jaided ezine.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Buzz

Mommy’s New Toys

I went to the post office to check the mail one hot and sunny day and what do you know, there was a box waiting for me from a wonderful company by the name of Excitement filled the stuffy air of my car as I caressed the box I had lovingly set on the passenger seat for the short drive home.

I made it home with a few groceries and my newly coveted box only to be bombarded by questions from my kids. I tend to be very open when it comes to questions, including ones of a sexual nature, age appropriate, of course, but I had no clue how to explain the box and why they couldn’t experience the excitement of opening it first hand right along with me. I told them it was research material for the adult-only article I would be writing for an online magazine. The younger two sighed and mumbled about adult-only stuff while the older two smirked. They know their mother all too well.

It wasn’t until later the same night that I was finally able to open the box. Toys, toys everywhere and what a glorious sight indeed! I was just as excited as the day I received my very first toy in the mail. My mind whirled. I had an inkling of an idea of where I wanted to start. One of the products I had been dying to try more than the others and another of them just seemed like it could be lots of fun. After giving the two in question a run for their money, fairly repeatedly, over the next several days, I decided to go ahead and review them both.

The fun one is a massaging glove that has so many possible uses you can’t help but want one. My first experience with this glove was at an erotic conference. I was walking up and down the aisles looking at vendor booths filled with naughty stuff when a half-naked woman wearing one came up to me and asked if she could show me how it worked. Being the adventurous type as well as noting she was beyond cute, I smiled and said of course. She ran it along my arms and the back of my neck and I knew I was hooked. My aching back was already in love. It wasn’t until the woman stimulated my nipples that I began to see the light. The minute she told me it was waterproof, I was sold! I have a love for bath toys and my waterproof, battery-operated boyfriends, lovingly known as Scuba BOBs, always welcome new company.

The other toy I will be reviewing in this article is a dual stimulation toy (vaginal and anal). A certain amount of taboo is still attached to the act of anal sex and maybe even more so with anal masturbation. I say throw all of the negative societal bullshit you might have learned over the years out the window and have a good time.

Anal play can be quite intense and intimidating, and like all sexual play, requires some health caveats. For that reason, it’s important to note a few things I have found to be important on the topic of backdoor loving.

1. There is no such thing as too much lube in anal play. The anus does not self-lubricate the way the vagina does so a good lubricant is essential for comfort, especially early on. You might hear about people having and even enjoying the hell out of anal sex with no lube whatsoever, but more than likely there are a couple of things going on in that type of scenario. The woman is probably so wet that she has self-lubricated to some extent with vaginal juices. The person in question is not new to anal play and knows exactly what his/her body is capable of or they like a bit of pain with their pleasure. Unless you fall somewhere in that spectrum, you should definitely become very friendly with a nice bottle of lube.

2. Keep an open mind. If you don’t enjoy it the first time or have had a bad first experience, don’t fret and don’t give up. We’re often too self conscious or tense at first, so definitely try to relax. As with just about anything sexual, I say try it a few times before making up your mind. Experiences are different with different people and in different settings. It could all depend on something as small as the time of the month, the way the wind is blowing or how the planets are aligned.

3. Go slowly, start small and do what feels good. It’s all about the connection and sensations so have fun with it.

I love to hear from the readers. If you’ve got a specific VibeReview toy or a topic of interest you’d like to explore, please drop me a line at and let me know.

See you next month.

Maggie Casper is the author of 10 erotic romance books published by Ellora’s Cave. The most recent is TEMPTING TEARS.

Hand Magic: Magnificent Vibrating Glove

This is one of the most fun multipurpose toys I have ever used. The Magnificent Vibrating Glove is a wonderful product to use alone or with a partner(s). Its myriad uses are limited only by the imagination of the user.

Being a bath player myself, I found the fact that the Magnificent Vibrating Glove is waterproof to be a big bonus. There is nothing quite like running its vibrating fingertips along wet, soap-slicked flesh.

It is a decent fit even for those with hands on the small side like myself. It weighs next to nothing so there are no worries of any type of discomfort even with long-term play. I also like the fact that it doesn’t require a specialty battery. Being powered by three AAA batteries makes it a nice quiet toy. The Magnificent Vibrating Glove has two speed options, high and low, both of which give off more vibration than I expected. Even on high, it is still not enough to get me off alone but it is an absolutely wonderful toy for foreplay and/or during sex.

Tip: Try getting into the reverse cowgirl position and running your gloved and vibrating fingertips along your partner’s balls as you pump up and down on his shaft. Yumm!

One of the things I like best about the Magnificent Vibrating Glove is that it is inconspicuous. If curious little ones happen to find it, there shouldn’t be too much in the way of embarrassment. Nothing at all like the time I left my Petite G-Spot Avenger sitting on the side of the tub. Oye!

I see the Magnificent Vibrating Glove as a perfect beginner’s toy. There is nothing intimidating about it and the vibrations, while more than adequate, won’t rattle your teeth. And best of all, if you decided for some crazy reason that you don’t care for using it as a sex aid, it’s still useful as a very good hand massager.

As you can probably tell, I like this toy. It looks nice in my toy box and feels even better on my hand. If you like fun toys and are looking for something new, I would highly suggest getting a Magnificent Vibrating Glove!

Size: One size fits most
Power: 3 AAA batteries
Manufacturer: Fukuoku / Finger Fitting Products
Price (subject to change): $64.95

Double Your Pleasure: Dual Penetrator

I have found it extremely difficult to find a good toy that will not only stimulate both the vaginal and anal areas but penetrate them as well. With both insertable ends of the Dual Penetrator being five full inches long, that is no longer a challenge. The base is big enough to get a grip on but not so large it becomes hard to hold. For me this is a big plus. That means I have a free hand left for stimulating myself in other ways.

The Dual Penetrator runs on two AA batteries, so it’s a quiet toy. Best of all is the easy twist, multi-speed power base. No fumbling with different buttons for different speeds. One twist is all you need to get you from zero to Oh My God! bliss.

While it did not hit the G-spot for me, the penis shaft is a decent fit. I found it to be firm enough to do the job yet soft enough to not cause any discomfort. The only difference I wouldn’t mind seeing in the dimensions of the Dual Penetrator is more girth. It is a bit on the narrow side in my opinion. Of course, that is a personal preference and yours might differ.

The vibrator in this toy is placed perfectly so that each shaft receives an equal share of vibration. While I tend to need more for clit stimulation, I prefer something a bit less intense for internal fun so I found the power level of the Dual Penetrator to be just about perfect.

The beaded anal shaft of this toy is a bit more pliable than I personally prefer but not by much. I would rather have a little too much flexibility when it comes to anal stimulation than not enough. Besides, once you get the hang of it, the bump, bump, bump of the smooth beads will make you forget all about any trouble you might have had to begin with.

My first go with the Dual Penetrator was a bit comical. I lubed up the anal shaft with O’My Original and then attempted to insert it while lying down. While I am sure it is not impossible, it was taking more time than I wanted it to in my impatience to get off. So I got up on my knees, stood the Dual Penetrator on its base with the tip of the penis shaft inserted vaginally then while holding it with one hand and guiding the anal beads shaft with the other I sank down and voila! I was filled and on my way to orgasm heaven.

The Dual Penetrator might seem a bit intimidating to someone not used to having both orifices pleasured at once but try to keep an open mind. Those of you who are new to dual sensations or who might just now be thinking of giving dual penetration a try, I say go for it with the Dual Penetrator. I believe the size of this product makes it a perfect toy for those new to either anal or dual penetration as well as the perfect addition to the toy box for those of us who crave a bit of it all. Whether used with a partner or alone, the Dual Penetrator is a wonderful addition to my toy box. Adding in clit stimulation with something like the Miracle Massager makes for one wild ride!

10” total length
5” insertable
2.25” to 3” circumference
2 AA batteries
This item is made of Rubber
Manufacturer: California Exotics
Price (subject to change): $29.95

Editor's Note: The Buzz is a new column of Lady Jaided ezine. All products reviewed are supplied free of charge by, but Maggie receives no fees for her reviews.