Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To New Beginnings, Happy Endings

To greet 2009 in just the right spirit, we put together a little New Year’s party just for you over at Lady Jaided. Yes, we know you love your gal pals, but you’re the only woman at this party, and these handsome hunks are falling all over themselves to get your attention, ply you with champagne and ring in the new year with some fireworks.

Stay as late as you want, drink as much as you want, and don’t do anything you couldn’t read about in Lady Jaided or an Ellora’s Cave book. And don’t worry about the morning after. What happens at the Cave stays at the Cave. Happy New Year!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Sperm Stoppers

It's about time that research into male contraceptives gave us some fresh options, dontcha think? Not that we women don't love taking cancer-inducing hormones for 20+ years, or having torture devices shoved into or clamped around our cervix. And condoms? Okay, they prevent disease, which is great, but for a disease-free monogamous couple, they are so medieval. Among some of the more promising methods under investigation:

1. Underpants that suppress sperm production by heating the scrotum

2. Plugs inserted into the vas deferens that block the flow of sperm or render sperm incapable of fertilization via electric current

3. Male hormones that block the production of sperm

4. Blood pressure medication that makes sperm membrane too rigid to fertilize egg

5. An enzyme, administered in pill or patch form that renders sperm incapable of detecting and fertilizing an egg

6. A Chinese plant that lowers sperm density and motility

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Buzz

Lubricating Your Holidays

There is no better time of year to try and find the perfect lube. After all it is the season for giving and for stuffing. I was talking about stuffing those stockings, you pervs, so get your mind out of the gutter and on to these little bottles of delight. With all the sensation lubes available, personal lubrication is no longer used only out of necessity, though inadequate lubricant is the Number 1 reason for condom failure, so if you are gloving up, do not forget to lube up as well. But back to pleasure. Slick and wet, lubes add delight to solo and shared sex. The trouble is there are just way too many choices. In this article I’ll help out a little with the decision-making process or at the very least, let you all in on a bit of info and maybe even a new product or two you didn’t know existed.

There are as many choices in personal lubricants as there are sexual positions. The main difference is that choosing and experimenting with the perfect lube to fit your mood is not nearly as much fun as figuring out which position to try next. So what is a woman to do?

First, ask yourself a couple of questions: What is the lube going to be used for? Do you or your partner have any allergies? Once you have the answers to your questions your shopping can begin. It is important to read labels since some lubes have things like nonoxynol-9 and sugar in them. I have an allergy to nonoxynol-9 so am always on the lookout and sugar, as you probably know, can cause yeast infections.

I have a few favorites I want to tell you about but first I want to go over some basics about different lube types and their uses.

Water-based lubricants do not contain oil and therefore are safe for both condom usage and toys. Typically composed of water and glycerin, they can sometimes feel sticky as well as having the tendency to dry faster than other choices so it is always wise to have extra handy.

Silicone-based lubricants are thicker and longer lasting than water-based making them wonderful not only for anal sex and water sex, but just sex in general. They are also safe to use with condoms. One drawback of a silicone-based lube is that it is harder to clean up. Soap and water are needed and silicone-based lubes can stain fabric. An important thing to remember if you choose a silicone-based lube is that it is not compatible with silicone sex toys. Most pre-lubricated condoms sold use a silicone-based lube as well so be sure to check the label before you use them on your toys or you might very well end up with your favorite toy turning into a tacky and sticky mess!

Oil-based lubricants will break down latex condoms making them susceptible not only to breakage but also rendering them useless in inhibiting the spread of disease. And ladies, don’t forget about your latex diaphragm. Oil-based lube will also break it down, possibly resulting in pregnancy so please beware. Oil-based lubricants are used mainly for male masturbation and anal sex because the oils are not healthy for the vagina often causing infection. Things like lotions, petroleum jelly and baby oil are included in the list of oil-based lubricants so read the labels and be sure of what you are using before the fun begins.

There is another category I would like to include briefly and that is the plethora of flavored and stimulating lubricants available out there. The flavored are often sweetened so may not be the best thing to use as an internal lube but they sure can be a fun and tasty treat. The warming and cooling ones are really nice. I tend to prefer the cooling ones myself. There is just something about the cold tingling sensations that make all my girly parts stand up and take notice. I have just recently started using these so my best advice to you is to experiment and have fun.

Here are some thoughts on a few of my favorite personal lubricants. One is a natural lubricant for those of you who have sensitivities. Next is what I consider the best all-around water-based lube and last but not least is my favorite (for now) sensation lube. I am having fun trying these out. All three of these are water-based. While I don’t have an aversion to silicone-based lubricants, I don’t use them often because of their incompatibility with silicone toys.

Yours in Pleasure,
Maggie Casper

Go Natural
O’My Original Lube

There is just no way around the need for a good personal lubricant so why not get something that not only feels wonderful but is also healthy for your body and free from nasty chemicals often found in today’s products?

O’My’s Original Natural lubricant is just that, natural. It is wonderfully slick without being slimy and it lasts longer than other water-based personal lubricants I have tried such as Astroglide. It is paraben-free and contains no artificial flavoring, making it great for those with skin sensitivities. Its light , natural taste makes it perfect for nights where oral sex might happen right in the middle of the fun. It’s water based so it’s latex compatible as well as easy to clean up. It won’t stain your sheets or clothes!

Add another dimension of sensation to your play. Whether you use O’My Original with a partner or alone you will enjoy its non-greasy, non-sticky, slippery feel. I know I do!

Make It Smooth
Liquid Silk

Liquid Silk is a creamy water-based lube that just keeps going. It doesn’t dry sticky or tacky at all. As a matter of fact, it absorbs into the skin and feels as smooth as a good lotion. I had gone into a fabulous little store in San Diego called Pleasures and Treasures in search of a water-based lube that would stand up to anal play. Without even time to blink the owner pulled from the shelf a bottle of Liquid Silk and offered me a sample to rub around my hands. I had tried many other water-based lubes and always got that icky feeling after sampling them but that was not the case at all with Liquid Silk so of course I bought a bottle. It’s easy to clean up a wet washcloth. I must say, it has served its purpose and then some.

The only downfall I have found to Liquid Silk is a slight pasty smell when it’s still in the bottle or freshly pumped. Once the lotion is rubbed into the skin however, the smell goes away and only a fresh, clean scent is left behind.

Add That Extra Something
Tantric Love Stimulating Lubricant

I came across this little bottle of sunshine the first time at a toy party held by one of my friends. The manufacturer of this product also makes a stimulating gel, which is different from the actual lubricant. Be sure and read the bottle carefully if you are looking for an lubricant because the gel is not meant be used internally.

Tantric Lovers Lubricant is absolutely awesome! I have used a few others but they just didn’t stack up. They either didn’t last long enough or didn’t work at all. This lubricant is water based so latex safe. It gives a wonderful mix of heat and tingling cool, adding to the intense sensations already coursing through your body. It is thicker than most water-based lubes and a little goes a long way. I like the slickness of it on my body. It stimulates the clit perfectly, helping with arousal. While Tantric Lovers Lubricant will not make you orgasm or cure those who have a hard time reaching the stars, it will definitely help. I absolutely love to use it on my clit while masturbating with either toys or just my fingers. When used internally both vaginally and anally, it feels divine. I have also heard from a partner that it caused quite a sensation on the head of his cock when used during a hand job. After preparing yourself, try adding a couple of drops to the inside tip of a condom before rolling it on. Fun, fun all around!

If you are new to stimulating lubricants and would like to try something fun and amazing that will not break your budget, Tantric Lovers Stimulating Lubricant might just be the thing for you!

Maggie Casper is the author of several erotic romance books published by Ellora's Cave.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Enchanting Santas

We give a lot of attention to muscle boys most of the year. But at Christmas, it’s good to remember that men with money can be attractive too. Especially if they like to spend it on you. So in keeping with the spirit of the season, let’s hear it for men bearing gifts!
To see more gift-enhanced hunks, check out December's Man Candy in Lady Jaided ezine.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Wall Street Journal reported that experts say a growing number of marriages are dissolving because of virtual infidelity. Ric Hoogestraat is a good example. According to the article, he spends from 4 to 14 hours a day on Second Life, a popular virtual reality fantasy world in which his avatar is married to another avatar of a woman in another city. They spend several hours together every night, and even have sex and own property and dogs together online. He claims what he’s doing is no different from his real-life wife, Sue, watching television. So far, Sue has elected not to leave him, despite urging from her family to do so.

For more odd sexual arcana, see Who Knew? in Lady Jaided Ezine.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Quiminology: Shake Your Moneymaker

At first glance, you might say the term "moneymaker" is degrading, implying as it does prostitution. But the truth is women carry huge financial power in their loins. Men will pay any price, literally and figuratively, to get between a woman’s legs. If women harnessed that power—especially in youth when interest rates are highest—we’d probably be able to retire by age 40, about the time interest rates start to decline.
For more terms for women's genitals, see Lady Jaided's Twatchamacallit column.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Experience Preferred

Sex is better after 40
Sex is over once you reach 40. The wild and crazy lovemaking years are long gone, relegated to memories of great sex in your 20s and 30s, never to be recaptured.


Hell no! Sex after 40 can be magical, exciting, free from the typical worries of our 20s and 30s and chock full of adventure and spice. Just because our physical bodies age doesn’t mean our minds and libidos follow suit. How many of us who are over 40 still feel like we’re 25, at least in our minds?

As a woman over 40, I thought that once I reached this stage in my life, sex would occur once in a while and without any oomph. I was wrong. After a divorce and a remarriage, I’m having more sex—better sex—than I did in my 20s and 30s. Is this just me and my own personal experience, I wondered? Are other women over 40 having great sex, too?

To find out the answer, I sent out a nonscientific survey via my romance-writing contacts over the internet, requesting answers from both women and men over 40 about their sex lives. I received responses from 30 women and 10 men. There’s probably at least some bias as my informal survey was sent only to readers and authors of erotic romance. I’m certain there are others who would have different reasons for the increase in their sexual satisfaction but who have never read an erotic romance.

Upon analyzing the survey results, I was surprised to find many commonalities in the respondents’ answers. I wanted to know, of those content with their current sexual situations, what was it that made them so happy. What is different about sex now than when they were younger.
To read the rest of this article, to to Lady Jaided emagazine.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Size Matters

There's a cute site called Curiosite that sells the Condometric, a condom that allows you to easily measure his length in millimeters, which sounds way better than inches. The marketing line is something of a non sequitur, though: "Because what really matters is the size of your confidence." So why measure your dick in the first place? Truth is, according to our totally nonscientific survey, what really seems to matter most to women is girth, not length, if they have to choose one.

Curiosite has lots of other cute stuff you can buy, but my favorite is the page of gifts for your ex. Among them: Dead Fred, a pen dead-man-shaped pen holder that you stab your pen into, and a time bomb alarm clock.

Monday, November 24, 2008

There's More To It Than Just Do It

We've blogged before about men calling for couples to have daily sex for anywhere from a month to an entire year to improve their marriages. The latest call to action was reported in the New York Times, as if it's never happened before. Rev. Ed Young advised his flock to have sex every day for seven days to strengthen their marriage--a feat at which even he failed, by the way.
After the weeklong challenge was over, he advised couples to continue to "double up on the amount of intimacy we have in marriage. And when I say intimacy, I don't mean holding hands in the park or a back rub." See, this is one reason some women don't want to have sex every day. Because so many men neglect the less goal-oriented types of intimacy such as holding hands in the park and back rubs. I can't help wondering if Rev. Young issued the challenge so he could get laid more often himself.
Only he knows for sure, but my advice to him: Double up on affection and true emotional intimacy, and maybe you won't have to drag your entire congregation into the act to get yourself laid more often. Check out the Relevant Church in Tampa, which calls for 30 days of daily sex but also actually advises participants about communication, emotional intimacy and mutual satisfaction.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Stocking Stuffers for Naughty Boys and Girls

I can’t believe it! That time of the year has arrived. What better way to show how much you care than with a gift meant to tantalize the senses? I wanted to review a few items I thought would make great gifts and in doing so, cover a spectrum of price and product possibilities. Offering my opinion on more than just toys was a must for a few different reasons.

First, I think everyone should take a step outside of the box every now and then. Maybe try something a bit kinky or if that is already your thing, the possibility of slowing things down for a nice romantic evening might be just what is needed to shake up your world and bring a breath of fresh air.

Adult toys make wonderful gifts in my opinion. What better way to show you care than by showering your loved one with an erotic gift, especially if given with the intention of using together?

Nothing says have a great holiday quite like a new vibrator. This month I reviewed a higher end model, something I had hoped would make a wonderful gift. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about this toy and hope you will too so be sure and add it to your Christmas list. If you’ve been very naughty I am sure your Santa will deliver!

Besides hearing all those naughty words your lover(s) whisper into your ear, the sense of taste, touch and smell add to the overall sexual experience. Which brings me to Raspberry Kiss. This set stirs the senses and arouses the mind. I thought this one would nicely cover any romantic aspects of the holiday season. Think candlelit dinners, soft and sultry music, erotic massages and lots of licking and nibbling. This set will make you want to find all of those sexy little spots on your partner’s body you’ve been overlooking and then stimulate them until the moaning and begging for more make it impossible to wait another second.

And last but not least, being the bondage slut that I am, I just had to find a product on a topic near and dear to my heart. After all, I think everyone should have the chance to experience a bit of kink. The Door Jam Cuffs might not be made for the hardcore bondage enthusiast but they sure the hell are a lot of fun. So give them a try. You never know, you might just like it!

As always please feel free to drop me a line. Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to see in The Buzz. I’ll see next month where we’ll go over some naughty little items I think would make great stocking stuffers.

Yours in Pleasure,
Maggie Casper

Iris: The Cadillac of Vibrators

My first thought upon receiving the Iris was that I was holding the Cadillac of vibrators in my greedy little hands. It was beautifully packaged in a nice little satin drawstring baggie and sturdy yet elegant box to keep it safe during shipping.

I could only find one thing that might be considered a downfall to the Iris and that would be the higher end price tag. However, after considering what you get with this elegant little toy, compared to most other G-Spot vibes, I believe you will find it well worth the cost. Now let me tell you what I loved about the Iris.

Not only is this little baby rechargeable, meaning no more batteries running down right as you’re about to pay homage to the Goddess O, and it comes with a one-year warranty!

The sleek design feels divine in my hand as well as on and in my sensitive girly bits. It is not awkward or bulky in the least. The control button is absolutely wonderful. It does everything needed without getting in the way or being confusing and best of all, it’s lockable for travel purposes. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a big wet kiss in my opinion.

The insertable end is made of hypoallergenic, phthalate-free materials and is textured enough to tickle all your senses but not so much that it is overkill. Besides the locking feature and rechargeable battery, my favorite feature is the dual vibrating mechanisms in this wonderful toy. One is placed at the tip and the other mid-shaft. They can be used simultaneously or individually and as a steady vibration of varying intensities or as pulsations also of varying intensities and degrees. The variety available with this amazing toy adds to its awesome charm.

The Iris is a G-Spot vibrator that hits the spot better than any other I have played with. My G-Spot tends to be on the tricky side to find and usually requires some fairly intense and imaginative maneuvering on my part but that doesn’t seem to be the case with the Iris. The slight curve is just right for the deep angled penetration needed to find that special little bundle of nerves. Then, with the different choices of vibrating and pulsing between the two separate mechanisms, the ability to massage yourself over the edge is easier than ever. It also serves extremely well for external clitoral stimulation if that’s where your pleasure lies.

I don’t see any way you can go wrong with the Iris. Its design is beautifully flawless and comes with numerous perks. It is easy to clean and sturdily made. With proper care, including only the use of water-based lubricants, the Iris should prove durable enough for even the most prolific of self-pleasurers.

9 inches total length
5.5 inches insertable length
4.5 inches circumference
Battery Info: Charger included
Material: Phthalate-free materials, plastic and silicone

Manufacturer: Lelo
Price (subject to change): $114.95

Kama Sutra’s Raspberry Kiss: Good Enough to Eat

I can’t say enough good about Kama Sutra. Over the years I have used many of their products and found all of them to be wonderful additions to any sensual or sexual experience. The same can be said of the Raspberry Kiss collection.

Raspberry Kiss consists of Raspberry flavored Oil of Love, Pleasure Balm and Honey Dust. I have used each of these products before but not necessarily in this particular flavor. I am a bit skeptical of fruity flavored products. I tend to stay with the more traditional mints and such since most times I consider the others to be overkill. I am happy to announce, however, that the raspberry flavor of all three products, while sweet, is not overly so.

Oil of Love is a divine companion to any erotic massage. I absolutely adore how it warms with contact. For those who enjoy a bit of heat, Oil of Love is great for external genital massage. A breath lightly feathered over your most sensitive parts will have you writhing in pleasure and begging for more. I really like Oil of Love for sensual play; however, for me personally it is too heavy for true massage leaving the skin just a little too tacky.

On the opposite end of the spectrum as far as sensations go is Kama Sutra’s Pleasure Balm. If you enjoy that cooling, tingling effect then this is the stuff for you. A little bit rubbed on your clitoris will to get your motor running or intensify the sensations you are already feeling.

I have heard many good things about Pleasure Balm and its numbing effects helping with staying power. I can’t comment on the staying power part--the thought provokes visions of me walking bowlegged for days--but the numbing effects are great for the gag reflex when used for oral sex. Another use for the very versatile Pleasure Balm is to mask the taste for those who do not enjoy that particular aspect of going down on your partner(s). I had only tried this product in the mint flavor and must say, I enjoy the raspberry much better as far as taste goes.

Honey Dust is one of those must-have items where I’m concerned. Its light powdery texture feels great on the body. The included feather brush only adds to the sensation. If used lightly there is no sticky, pasty residue like with other flavored powders. It tastes great so licking and nibbling are things you will want to as much as possible. Kama Sutra’s Honey Dust also smells absolutely decadent. A light dusting of the powder over your body before a night out is sure to get attention. I enjoy dusting it on my bed sheets before a night of sexual exploration. When I’m in a romantic mood, it brings things together very nicely.

The money-saving aspect of purchasing this set combined instead of buying the items separately is a factor as well. It comes packaged in a gorgeous reusable tin that will surely come in handy later on for hiding all sorts of naughty little items…think condoms and lube and batteries, oh my!

Price: $44.95

Door Jam Cuffs: Intro to Bondage

Being a lover of bondage I am always up for trying new ways of being tied down, or up as the case may be. I found the Door Jam Cuffs to be not only great fun but a very neat design. They are lightweight and comfortable yet sturdy enough for a good time. They require no installation, which means they can be used anywhere with a door, making them great for travel and on the spot, spur of the moment type of play. That aspect alone makes them a great addition to any toy bag. The low cost only adds to their attractiveness.

They wouldn’t work beneath my door for ankle restraint due to too much space but that was easy enough to work around by opening the door and slipping one in each side at ankle height. The cuffs are detachable so they can be removed from the door straps and then fastened to each other for a traditional behind the back or in front position or attached to something else such as a chain around the waist, bed frame, another set on the ankles, etc. The sky is the limit. My suggestion is to purchase two sets so you will have both ankles and wrists covered without having to choose between the two.

The only possible negative I found to the Door Jam Cuffs is size. If your wrist is smaller than about 5.5 to 6 inches, they might not work for you. Otherwise, these are great cuffs, especially for beginners to bondage or those who want comfort with their kink. They are easy to get in and out of, taking only seconds and if the need arose they have an approximate 50-pound breakaway for self release.

Price: $26.95
Featured products are supplied by Vibe Review. To see more sexual enhancement product reviews, visit Lady Jaided ezine's The Buzz.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Practice, Practice, Practice!

It’s commonly agreed among sex therapists that orgasm is more often learned than spontaneous for females. That’s not to say girls never have spontaneous orgasms. Many can and do--even before puberty. However, they might not recognize these experiences as sexual in nature, or they might be discouraged from exploring genital sensations and consequently not develop their orgasmic tendencies. That means a girl who explores her body and experiments with her sexual response is more likely to have orgasmic sex later in life.

Source: Sex Matters for Women by Sally Foley, Sally A. Kope and Dennis P. Sugrue

For more sexual arcana, see Lady Jaided's Who Knew? feature every month.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Quiminology: Bitchcake

Since women have reclaimed the word “bitch” it has taken on a whole new feel. It’s no longer an insult, but rather acknowledgment of our strength and authority. That’s why we kinda like the sound of bitchcake, though it’s clearly not for everyone. It makes our genitals seem tasty but also powerful and independent.
For more tasty tidbits about women's sexuality, check out Lady Jaided ezine

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Stand and Deliver:The Politics of Peeing

“Fantasies of omnipotence, especially those of a sadistic character, are as a matter of fact more easily associated with the jet of urine passed by the male.”
Karen Horney
Feminine Psychology
On the Genesis of the Castration Complex circa 1922

“Male urination really is an accomplishment, an arc of transcendence.”
Camille Paglia
Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence From Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson

“…that’s bullshit.”
Becky Flanders
2008 interview with Lady Jaided and Sex Talk

There was a time when Becky Flanders was envious of boys’ ability to pee any time, any place, standing up with their pants on. But no longer. Now, she can stand and deliver with the best of them. In fact, she can aim her urine well enough to hit a target--say a porcelain teacup or a toy airplane. She could probably write her name in the snow if she felt like it.

But Becky Flanders is on a more important mission.

For the young artist and graduate student, upright peeing is a political act, one that challenges our very notions of gender. Freudian psychoanalyst Karen Horney said that penis envy originates in the ability of boys to hold their penises in their hands and urinate freely without shame. A mere century later, Becky has crashed both the pee and shame barriers with her recent Tampa exhibition featuring a series of explicit photos of herself directing sparkling streams of piss at various targets and receptacles, from toy airplanes and ants to delicate china cups. She even has a triptych that shows three different methods for manipulating a woman’s equipment in order to direct the flow.

Though the photos are detailed and do not shy away from showing pretty much everything, there’s really nothing sexual about them. “I try to keep the work out of fetish territory,” she says. “The images don’t address pleasure or porn. They’re about power politics, the construction of gender through things like how pants are designed.” Pants, says Becky, even those for women, are designed to allow men easy access to their penises precisely so they can pee easily. Even a woman who can pee standing up still has to pull her pants down. So Becky retrofitted pants, using zippers and Velcro to enlarge the fly all the way to the tailbone.

Becky began exploring the idea of approaching the power politics of pee as art after enrolling in the masters studio art program at the University of South Florida. She researched historical references to women who could urinate like men. She found very few mentions and no visual evidence.

However, the research did begin to give an historical context to the images starting to form in her mind, and many of the pieces in her exhibition contain allusions to historical and art historical figures and ideas. One is a photograph of herself dressed as Marie Antoinette wearing a cake on her head and peeing into a tiny cup. Becky points out that if you look closely, you can see the corona of the urine splashing out of the cup. “It’s part of the metaphor,” she explains. “Not only is she corseted, with this cake on her head that blinds her, but she’s aiming into a too-small container. Isn’t that what femininity does? It’s not a natural feat.”

To read the rest of this article for free and see more pictures of Becky's work, go here.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I don't need a man

But damn they can be fun. In fact, when it comes to the ultimate sex toy, men have my vote. Bless Mother Nature for providing them with all those wonderful parts - lips and teeth and tongues, fingers and hands and ... well other interesting anatomical appendenges that can provide so much pleasure. So while satisfaction isn't necessarily dependent upon having a man, I bet we'd all agree that having a man feast his way down from your neck beats the heck out of .... well damn, it's a real winner.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What Happened in Vegas

Don't go thinking I'm gonna violate the cardinal rule of Las Vegas (you know the one: what happens there, stays there), but I will tell you some of what we did in Sin City while celebrating the release of Forbidden Fantasies.

We didn't have the tour bus *sigh* so we had to rough it on party night with a white stretch limo. But we're troupers, so we managed. The champagne helped. I don't like to brag, but I did manage to pour 11 glasses without sloshing a drop, despite the fact that the driver's feet seemed so ill-acquainted with both the gas and brake pedals that our ride could best be described as "lurchy." Of course, it was only the first of three bottles, so I was still largely sober.

First stop was the fabulous, spangly, sparkly Planet Hollywood, where we were to supp at Pampas, a Brazilian churrascuria. After traipsing all over the casino, we discovered that Pampas was actually somewhere in Miracle Mile, the adjoining mall that is so huge and confusing, some people who entered it have never been seen nor heard from again. Fortunately, we had two college professors with us, so we did find our way there and back eventually, though it was something of a bushwhacking adventure. Dinner was great, though, and well worth the hunt. The churrascaria is a Brazilian tradition, but fairly new and trendy in the United States. It features round after round of spit-roasted meats brought to table on skewers and sliced for each person. But even vegetarians can find plenty to eat at a churrascaria because it also features a help-yourself food bar with a huge array of vegetables and side dishes.

Next stop was the Thunder From Down Under male revue show at the Excalibur, where we watched a troupe of Aussie hunks (who were almost as hot as our Ellora's Cavemen) shake their moneymakers. The rest of the evening is our secret, as we honor the Vegas pledge of omerta. Let’s just say that despite the fact there was more champagne, we all managed to make it to the early afternoon book signing the next day at Barnes & Noble.

A big thank you to all the people who donned t-shirts and boas to be part of the human Forbidden Fantasies billboard. They are pictured above (minus Darrell King and me) while waiting for the limo, from left: Sherri King, Jeania Uplinger, Ann Jacobs, Jory Strong, Donna Hoard, Kim Nguyen, Joanne Pech, and Tiffiany Howard

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Forbidden Fantasies: What's Yours?

Normally, we don't plug Ellora's Cave books on this blog, even though EC does sponsor it. But we released our first ever hardcover book this week, called Forbidden Fantasies, an anthology with eight of our hottest authors, published by Simon & Schuster Pocket Books and to promote it, we're giving away a free mini laptop computer! To enter the contest to win it (and get discounts on all EC books for the rest of the year), you have to buy the book by October 18. Go here for details.
Also, if you live the Las Vegas area, please join us for our booksigning October 18 1:00-2:30 p.m. at Barnes & Noble, 8915 W. Charleston, Las Vegas, NV 89117. We're giving away lots of goodies and a free Forbidden Fantasies t-shirt with all purchases of the book.

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Buzz: Take the C-Train to O-ville

This month we’re going to concentrate on that wonderful little bundle of nerves that brings so much pleasure, the clitoris! Although I can’t speak for others, I can say that clitoral stimulation is where the orgasm is at for me.

There was a time when I thought something was wrong with me because achieving an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone pretty much never happened. Now I know better. Many studies and surveys have been and continue to be done on the subject. Redbook did a survey that showed only 17% of their female readers are likely to orgasm solely from penetration. If you fall in this category as I do, you are far from alone. The question is what are we to do?

I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to learn to accept what our bodies can accomplish and we’re going to learn to love our clits…literally. And what better way to do it than with exploration and toys!

Take a bit of time to get comfy. Picture something nice and erotic in your mind. Remember there is no rush and although reaching the land of O is a wonderful thing, it is only half the fun. Don’t forget about the journey in your rush to reach the goal.

Now, stretch those nimble fingers, grab your favorite toy, a partner or better yet all of the above and get ready to reacquaint yourself with your clit. Don’t forget to try different sensations--maybe some heat or cold or a sensation lube—and alternate between rubbing and tapping, vibrations or anything else that comes to mind. The sky is the limit so use your imagination and in the meantime, I will include my thoughts on a couple of clitiliciously stimulating toys for your perusal.

The first is a bullet that packs a bit more bang for your buck and the second is a plug-in massager and attachment that make me drool just thinking about them. I hope you enjoy. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to drop me a line at

Yours in Pleasure,
Maggie Casper

Maggie Casper is the author of several Ellora's Cave books.

Hi Ho Silver: Silver Bullet

Vibrating bullet toys have been a staple in my toy box since the beginning. Simple and inexpensive, Vibe Review’s Silver Bullet is perfect for the inexperienced as well as the seasoned toy user.

Two AA batteries keep it humming along nicely without too much in the way of noise. The size of the Silver Bullet makes it an ace in my book. Its size makes it easy to hide in the bedside table, the glove box or even the bottom of your purse so it’s an easy take-along type of toy.

The only downside to the Silver Bullet is the sliding controller, which facilitates manipulation during play but could create problems for travel. If the controller is bumped, it will turn on so you might want to consider removing the batteries during those transport.

When compared to other bullet type toys, VibeReview’s Silver Bullet wins hands down for the amount of vibrating intensity it produces on the highest setting. The size is just right for external couple’s play or even to add spice to your hallow-base dildos. Add a condom in order to use your Silver Bullet for safe and fun vaginal and anal insertion.

*Tip: Tug the condom not the remote wire for easy toy removal.

The Silver Bullet is made of phthalate-free material, which is another plus added to an already magnificent toy. The simplicity, multipurpose usefulness, wonderfully low price tag and powerful vibrations of VibeReview’s Silver Bullet make it a must have for any toy bag!

Size: 2.25” total length, 1” width
Power source: twoAA batteries
Material: Phthalate Free material and Plastic

Manufacturer: VibeReview
Price (subject to change): $12.95

I’m a Believer: Miracle Massager

Let me start by saying wow! The Miracle Massager is one mighty fine toy. I was skeptical at first. I doubted that the Miracle Massager could really be better than the tried and true Hitachi Magic Wand. Well I am here to tell you I’m a believer now.

I’m a woman who loves masturbating while in the bath, so plug-in toys have never been high on my must-have list--until one dark and naughty night my partner tied me up and erotically tortured me with a Hitachi Magic Wand. My thinking changed a bit after that eye-opening experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love playing in the bath but damn there is just something wonderful about a plug-in toy. No batteries to die in the heat of the moment and no worries over lagging or slowing vibrations, they just keep on going steady until you slump over from exhaustion or hit the off switch.

When I first saw the Miracle Massager, I figured it was probably just a Hitachi wannabe but boy was I wrong. It is anything but. Not only is it red and black, making it much more pleasing to the eye but it is lighter than other wand-type toys I’ve tried. That combined with the slightly curved handle make it comfortable to hold, even for marathon play dates.

The Miracle Massager is a bit louder than your average battery-operated vibrator but not as loud as the Hitachi. It also does not seem to get hot. I used it for quite some time during one session out of sheer curiosity about the heat aspect and was pleasantly surprised to note no change in temperature other than that caused by my body.

The vibrating head is smooth and a bit cushy as well as smaller in circumference, all wonderful design improvements in my opinion. The comfortable head sits on a slightly flexible neck, which was something else I found delightful. With both high and low speeds you are able to choose the vibrating intensity that best suits you. And let me tell you, this bad boy sure can pack a punch!

As I write this I am trying to think of any negatives I have noticed about the Miracle Massager and am not able to come up with even one. It is a well-made multipurpose massager that is priced just right.

While its main function is as an external, body, clitoris and/or labia stimulation toy, the Miracle Massager can easily be transformed into a dual sensation toy for internal, G-spot and clitoral stimulation with the addition of the Miracle Massager Attachment.

The Miracle Massager Attachment is sold separately but is well worth the small price for the deliciousness it is able to impart to my girly bits. It took a bit of manipulation in order to get the phallic probe just where I needed it for G-spot stimulation. I think maybe there just isn’t enough of a curve to it, though it might be due to my body shape. I’m fairly new to G-spot stimulation and swear that particular little bundle of nerves is shy and spends half of its time hiding. Thank goodness for the comfortably flexible design that makes manipulating it into the right position part of the fun.

Vibrations resonate throughout the attachment perfectly so you get stimulated both internally and externally with no dead spots. I loved the little nubs on the external clit stimulator part of the attachment. They are to die for. I nestled it right up against my clitoris while the insertable end filled me and made me see stars almost instantly!

The only drawback I found to the Miracle Massager Attachment is the odor. It had a fairly strong chemical smell when I first opened the package. I am hoping that with repeated cleaning the smell will dissipate. Either way, it is a wonderful addition to the Miracle Massager.

If you’ve been considering a wand and/or massager type of toy, the Miracle Massager should be high on your list. And don’t forget the Miracle Massager Attachment to make your new toy a complete party of orgasmic sensation!

Details: Miracle Massager
Size: Vibrating Head
2” total length
6” circumference
2” diameter
Massager: 11” total length
Power Source: 120 Volt AC power cord included
Material: PVC
Manufacturer: California Exotics
Price (subject to change): $43.95

Details: Miracle Massager Attachment
Size: 3” insertable length
1.25” diameter at widest point
Material: PVC

Manufacturer: California Exotics
Price (subject to change): $15.95

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Reclaiming the C Word

By December Quinn

It's a perfect word.

It's evocative. It's short. Its roots go back more than 15,000 years. Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Casanova were among its most famous literary champions. And yet, “cunt” still gets the short end of the stick. So to speak. Studies have shown that women find "cunt" the most offensive word in the English language. (Seriously.) It's forbidden. It's absolutely taboo.

But what is forbidden is often what is most erotic, as well. I never used to write it. I didn't like to read it. Then, thanks to Ellora’s Cave, I found a few erotic romances that did. My dislike of the word changed to--not indifference, because I don't feel a word like cunt can ever inspire indifference--but more like approval. The word was forbidden. The word was direct. The word was a little shocking. In short, the word was pretty hot.

Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte is trying to woo that painter to her gallery? He's an old man, and he proudly informs her that he's been doing a series of paintings of cunts. Charlotte is, of course, stunned by this. He asks her to sit for him, and you can see she's about to refuse when the old man's wife enters the studio. She's holding a tray of lemonade and says sweetly, "I bet you have a beautiful cunt, dear."

Hey! That word isn't so bad after all! In fact, it's kind of...dare I say...cute? Maybe if we think of cunt as a nice word, a sexy word, a descriptive word, instead of a nasty one, we can replace it in our vocabulary and our books and hold our heads high. Just hearing the phrase "beautiful cunt" made a difference to me, since we so often associate the word with less pleasant adjectives. But if we think of the word--and that which is names--as beautiful…

Chaucer used it in The Canterbury Tales, spelling it "queynte." According to Charles Panati's Sexy Origins and Intimate Things, "Chaucer believed the word was derived from “quaint,” which meant “a many-layered, in-folded mystery.” What better description of a woman's sexual organs than that?

Pre-Chaucer, cunt was a name. There are many families on the rolls in 13th-century England named Cuntles or Clawcunte, or many variations thereof. There were Gropecunte streets and Cunte lanes in medieval England as well. Clearly, the word's meaning was fixed even over 700 years ago. It first appears in written record in 1066 but seems to have had a different meaning then, although "cunt" is derived from early language, when "kuni" or words like it were used simply to mean "wife" or "woman."

I decided to try using cunt. I wanted to see what t felt like to write it, to put that forbidden word on paper. Could I still turn people on when I threw a cunt bomb into my work? Could I still write scenes people would enjoy, even if a cunt bobbed up at them from the page?To my surprise, it worked. And it wasn't too bad. It was actually pretty sexy. And so exact! And it gives the reader a distinct message: This is going to be pretty graphic. This will be pretty hot.

I don't use the word much (and never, ever in dialogue. I know I'm trying to be Miss Open-Minded and Miss Use Cunt, but I don't like it in dialogue. Cunt is a private thing, to be shared only with our readers through our voices, not those of our characters.) But of late I've been abstaining, and I have missed it. All those folds and entrances just can't compensate for the brevity and clarity of cunt.

Isn’t it time we took back that word? Isn’t it time we allowed ourselves to think of our sexual selves as deserving of an adult word (rather than the kittenish “pussy”)? Shouldn’t we be able to see that some words have more than one meaning, and there’s nothing shameful in reclaiming such a rich history?

Say it loud, sisters. I have a cunt and I’m proud.

December Quinn is the author of five books published by Ellora’s Cave, including BLOOD WILL TELL. To learn more about her, visit her website .

Friday, October 3, 2008

Living inside the Imagination

If you're old enough you'll remember a little film titled Flashdance. The soundtrack contained a song Imagination and the lyrics asked "do you really really want it when your fantasy becomes reality?"

Recently I had a couple of models who were willing to explore that question. Did the fantasy satisfy? It sure as heck pleased my camera. As for the models... well we'll leave that to the imagination.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Resist the Thought Police

It's time once again to celebrate banned books, my lovelies. You owe it to yourself and to freedom of thought to read something that someone doesn't want you to this week. It doesn't have to be dull, though. Seven of the 10 most challenged books of 2007 were challenged at least partly because of sexually explicit content, not counting "And Tango Makes Three," which was challenged as anti-family for its portrayal of--gasp!--two male penguins caring for an egg together. "Tango" was also one of two books, along with "The Golden Compass," challenged for their "religious viewpoint." We had no idea penguins were so subversive.

The American Library Association Office of Intellectual Freedom annually reports challenges, which are defined as formal written complaints to a library or school requesting that a book be removed because of content or appropriateness. OIF Director Judith Krug states, “Free access to information is a core American value that should be protected. Not every book is right for each reader, but an individual’s interpretation of a book should not take away my right to select reading materials for my family or myself."

Amen. Go to the office's website for a list of banned books and more info about Banned Books week.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Score One For The Taints

We know some men like to name their dicks and lots of men seem to think with them, but a group of young Ohio men has taken penile anthropomorphics to a whole new level. Meet the new mascot of a fantasy football team called The Taints. In case you travel in classier circles than we do and don't know what a taint is, it's the perineum, that bit of skin between the genitals and the anus. (as in 'taint pussy, 'taint ass) There's no word on what they named this fellow but he looks an awful lot like Ernest Borgnine to us, so we'll call him Ernie for now. We have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him in the future.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hot Mama

There are lots of ways to tell what kind of lover a man will be before you find yourself faced with having to climb out his bathroom window after Mr. Hunk in the bar turns out to be Mr. Clunky in the sack.

Everyone knows you can tell a lot from the way a man kisses. But once a man gets to first base, he already has expectations, putting you in a potentially sticky situation. The earlier you know his sexual IQ, the less time you’ll waste and the fewer sneaky retreats you’ll have to engineer.

Certain places present opportunities to glean the information you need. Hot Mama often shops for carnal companionship at the grocery store, where she can see what a man likes to eat and how he squeezes the melons and sniffs the cheeses.

Oyster bars are also good spots to size up a catch before casting your net. All you have to do is sit and watch to see who passes the oyster test, then pick the one you like best. The oyster test is really quite simple. If a man eats an oyster with gusto, chances are, he’ll be an enthusiastic cunnilinguist, though it doesn’t necessarily attest to his skill.

But one of Hot Mama's favorite places to gauge a man’s sexual prowess is on the dance floor. Dancing is like making love with your clothes on. And Latin dancing is the most seductive of all. The drama and passion of the tango, the sensual rhythms of marimba and meringue, the delicious tease of salsa and cha cha cha get the blood going like nothing else.

That’s why when Hot Mama wants a really sensual lover, someone to seduce her with finesse and fire, she goes to her favorite Latin dance club. It also happens to serve a delicious chicken dish you won’t find anywhere else. It’s sweet and savory and thoroughly delicious with yellow rice, though she often serves it with quinoa and pineapple. It’s also incredibly easy to make.

Tango Thighs

3 pounds of skinless chicken thighs
2 teaspoons cinnamon
¼ cup honey
¼ cup chicken broth
½ cup sherry
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper to taste

Arrange chicken in baking dish and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Combine remaining ingredients in a bowl and pour over chicken, keeping back 2 tablespoons of lime juice. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 3 hours, turning pieces every half hour.

Preheat oven to 375°F and bake 1 hour, basting frequently with pan juices. Sprinkle with remaining lime juice before serving.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

By Syneca Featherstone

Sometimes we all take this sex stuff way too seriously. Sure, it's an intense thing ... breath-taking, mind-blowing, toe-curling and all that.

But sometimes it's just plain fun. And let's face it, giggling and laughing is right up there at the top of the list of stress-relievers, so if you can combine it with sex? Well heck, I'd call that the best medicine of all for what ails you.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Going Rate for a Virgin

The blogs are buzzing about the 22-year-old who's auctioning off her virginity to pay for graduate school--interestingly she's reportedly seeking a masters degree in marriage and family therapy. Her undergraduate degree is allegedly in women's studies. No reliable source has yet bothered to independently confirm her identity or educational status--or even the authenticity of her claims to being a virgin. In fact, the whole thing has a whiff of hoax about it. I wouldn't be surprised to see her on some reality show next or with a spread in Playboy.

She has taken on the pseudonym Natalie Dylan, she says, for safety reasons, and she hopes to raise a million dollars. It sounds high but if we're talking the law of supply and demand, virginity is pretty rare in an attractive 22-year-old. As one person said on a private loop in response to another's comment that she wished she had thought of the idea when she was in college: "Um, I think most of us would had to have thought of it before college, when we still had something to sell."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tempting Transgressions

Pecattiphilia: Sexual excitement from stealing or sinning

News Flash: Sin is sexy. Probably has something to do with the belief that sex is sinful The more taboo you make it, the more compelling it is. If I had known about this fetish in junior high, I would have thought of it as the Catholic School Girl and Preacher’s Kid Fetish. Those were the two groups in my neighborhood who seemed to get off the most on sinning, who were the most creative in coming up with ways to sin and the most energetic in pursuing its pleasures. When Wynona Ryder got busted for shoplifting, people wondered why such a rich, famous person would so such a thing. Maybe she’s a pecattiphiliac.

Monday, September 8, 2008

The Quiminology Files


Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid notwithstanding, it looks like it’s still gonna be a while before a woman occupies the real Oval Office, so we’ll have to try to find comfort in the smaller oval office—the only one we do completely control access to. Our ultimate power base, if you will. We aren’t crazy about the idea of a man thinking of our vadge as the oval office, though. Calls forth images of a lying, bossy asshole who acts like he owns a place when he is really just a temporary occupant.
For more quiminology gems and other profound sexual insights, visit Lady Jaided ezine.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Buzz

Mommy’s New Toys

I went to the post office to check the mail one hot and sunny day and what do you know, there was a box waiting for me from a wonderful company by the name of Excitement filled the stuffy air of my car as I caressed the box I had lovingly set on the passenger seat for the short drive home.

I made it home with a few groceries and my newly coveted box only to be bombarded by questions from my kids. I tend to be very open when it comes to questions, including ones of a sexual nature, age appropriate, of course, but I had no clue how to explain the box and why they couldn’t experience the excitement of opening it first hand right along with me. I told them it was research material for the adult-only article I would be writing for an online magazine. The younger two sighed and mumbled about adult-only stuff while the older two smirked. They know their mother all too well.

It wasn’t until later the same night that I was finally able to open the box. Toys, toys everywhere and what a glorious sight indeed! I was just as excited as the day I received my very first toy in the mail. My mind whirled. I had an inkling of an idea of where I wanted to start. One of the products I had been dying to try more than the others and another of them just seemed like it could be lots of fun. After giving the two in question a run for their money, fairly repeatedly, over the next several days, I decided to go ahead and review them both.

The fun one is a massaging glove that has so many possible uses you can’t help but want one. My first experience with this glove was at an erotic conference. I was walking up and down the aisles looking at vendor booths filled with naughty stuff when a half-naked woman wearing one came up to me and asked if she could show me how it worked. Being the adventurous type as well as noting she was beyond cute, I smiled and said of course. She ran it along my arms and the back of my neck and I knew I was hooked. My aching back was already in love. It wasn’t until the woman stimulated my nipples that I began to see the light. The minute she told me it was waterproof, I was sold! I have a love for bath toys and my waterproof, battery-operated boyfriends, lovingly known as Scuba BOBs, always welcome new company.

The other toy I will be reviewing in this article is a dual stimulation toy (vaginal and anal). A certain amount of taboo is still attached to the act of anal sex and maybe even more so with anal masturbation. I say throw all of the negative societal bullshit you might have learned over the years out the window and have a good time.

Anal play can be quite intense and intimidating, and like all sexual play, requires some health caveats. For that reason, it’s important to note a few things I have found to be important on the topic of backdoor loving.

1. There is no such thing as too much lube in anal play. The anus does not self-lubricate the way the vagina does so a good lubricant is essential for comfort, especially early on. You might hear about people having and even enjoying the hell out of anal sex with no lube whatsoever, but more than likely there are a couple of things going on in that type of scenario. The woman is probably so wet that she has self-lubricated to some extent with vaginal juices. The person in question is not new to anal play and knows exactly what his/her body is capable of or they like a bit of pain with their pleasure. Unless you fall somewhere in that spectrum, you should definitely become very friendly with a nice bottle of lube.

2. Keep an open mind. If you don’t enjoy it the first time or have had a bad first experience, don’t fret and don’t give up. We’re often too self conscious or tense at first, so definitely try to relax. As with just about anything sexual, I say try it a few times before making up your mind. Experiences are different with different people and in different settings. It could all depend on something as small as the time of the month, the way the wind is blowing or how the planets are aligned.

3. Go slowly, start small and do what feels good. It’s all about the connection and sensations so have fun with it.

I love to hear from the readers. If you’ve got a specific VibeReview toy or a topic of interest you’d like to explore, please drop me a line at and let me know.

See you next month.

Maggie Casper is the author of 10 erotic romance books published by Ellora’s Cave. The most recent is TEMPTING TEARS.

Hand Magic: Magnificent Vibrating Glove

This is one of the most fun multipurpose toys I have ever used. The Magnificent Vibrating Glove is a wonderful product to use alone or with a partner(s). Its myriad uses are limited only by the imagination of the user.

Being a bath player myself, I found the fact that the Magnificent Vibrating Glove is waterproof to be a big bonus. There is nothing quite like running its vibrating fingertips along wet, soap-slicked flesh.

It is a decent fit even for those with hands on the small side like myself. It weighs next to nothing so there are no worries of any type of discomfort even with long-term play. I also like the fact that it doesn’t require a specialty battery. Being powered by three AAA batteries makes it a nice quiet toy. The Magnificent Vibrating Glove has two speed options, high and low, both of which give off more vibration than I expected. Even on high, it is still not enough to get me off alone but it is an absolutely wonderful toy for foreplay and/or during sex.

Tip: Try getting into the reverse cowgirl position and running your gloved and vibrating fingertips along your partner’s balls as you pump up and down on his shaft. Yumm!

One of the things I like best about the Magnificent Vibrating Glove is that it is inconspicuous. If curious little ones happen to find it, there shouldn’t be too much in the way of embarrassment. Nothing at all like the time I left my Petite G-Spot Avenger sitting on the side of the tub. Oye!

I see the Magnificent Vibrating Glove as a perfect beginner’s toy. There is nothing intimidating about it and the vibrations, while more than adequate, won’t rattle your teeth. And best of all, if you decided for some crazy reason that you don’t care for using it as a sex aid, it’s still useful as a very good hand massager.

As you can probably tell, I like this toy. It looks nice in my toy box and feels even better on my hand. If you like fun toys and are looking for something new, I would highly suggest getting a Magnificent Vibrating Glove!

Size: One size fits most
Power: 3 AAA batteries
Manufacturer: Fukuoku / Finger Fitting Products
Price (subject to change): $64.95

Double Your Pleasure: Dual Penetrator

I have found it extremely difficult to find a good toy that will not only stimulate both the vaginal and anal areas but penetrate them as well. With both insertable ends of the Dual Penetrator being five full inches long, that is no longer a challenge. The base is big enough to get a grip on but not so large it becomes hard to hold. For me this is a big plus. That means I have a free hand left for stimulating myself in other ways.

The Dual Penetrator runs on two AA batteries, so it’s a quiet toy. Best of all is the easy twist, multi-speed power base. No fumbling with different buttons for different speeds. One twist is all you need to get you from zero to Oh My God! bliss.

While it did not hit the G-spot for me, the penis shaft is a decent fit. I found it to be firm enough to do the job yet soft enough to not cause any discomfort. The only difference I wouldn’t mind seeing in the dimensions of the Dual Penetrator is more girth. It is a bit on the narrow side in my opinion. Of course, that is a personal preference and yours might differ.

The vibrator in this toy is placed perfectly so that each shaft receives an equal share of vibration. While I tend to need more for clit stimulation, I prefer something a bit less intense for internal fun so I found the power level of the Dual Penetrator to be just about perfect.

The beaded anal shaft of this toy is a bit more pliable than I personally prefer but not by much. I would rather have a little too much flexibility when it comes to anal stimulation than not enough. Besides, once you get the hang of it, the bump, bump, bump of the smooth beads will make you forget all about any trouble you might have had to begin with.

My first go with the Dual Penetrator was a bit comical. I lubed up the anal shaft with O’My Original and then attempted to insert it while lying down. While I am sure it is not impossible, it was taking more time than I wanted it to in my impatience to get off. So I got up on my knees, stood the Dual Penetrator on its base with the tip of the penis shaft inserted vaginally then while holding it with one hand and guiding the anal beads shaft with the other I sank down and voila! I was filled and on my way to orgasm heaven.

The Dual Penetrator might seem a bit intimidating to someone not used to having both orifices pleasured at once but try to keep an open mind. Those of you who are new to dual sensations or who might just now be thinking of giving dual penetration a try, I say go for it with the Dual Penetrator. I believe the size of this product makes it a perfect toy for those new to either anal or dual penetration as well as the perfect addition to the toy box for those of us who crave a bit of it all. Whether used with a partner or alone, the Dual Penetrator is a wonderful addition to my toy box. Adding in clit stimulation with something like the Miracle Massager makes for one wild ride!

10” total length
5” insertable
2.25” to 3” circumference
2 AA batteries
This item is made of Rubber
Manufacturer: California Exotics
Price (subject to change): $29.95

Editor's Note: The Buzz is a new column of Lady Jaided ezine. All products reviewed are supplied free of charge by, but Maggie receives no fees for her reviews.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Ride 'Em, Cowgirl!

Do you know what a Reverse Cowgirl is? If not, you might be a little behind in your sexual positions IQ.
How about the CAT? It's not a reference to feline sensuality but rather an acronym for the very unsexy-sounding Coital Alignment Technique. But wait, the description sounds like it could be quite stimulating. Invented by a psychotherapist to increase clitoral stimulation during penetration, the technique has been credited with increasing women's orgasms and simultaneous orgasms of both partners. Or so says iVillage "super sexpert" Tracey Cox in her guide for selecting the right sexual position for you and your partner.

Thanks to author Ashlyn Chase for sending us the link!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bare Naked Noggins

A handsome bald man is a thing of beauty--a living sculpture of flesh and bone--and perhaps the ultimate symbol of virility. Maybe it’s an extra dose of testosterone that makes him more masculine in many ways than his thicker-tressed brethren.

But beyond artistic beauty and hormones, a bald pate suggests a certain wisdom for a number of reasons. First, there’s wisdom by association: Mahatma Gandhi and Buddha were bald. Then there’s the evidence that evolution leads to less hairiness and more intelligence. And let us not forget the fact that baldness generally comes with age, and wisdom is a product of experience. But most of all, perhaps, a smooth and unadorned dome is proof positive that its wearer is wise (and tasteful) enough to forgo plugs, toupees, comb-overs and—worst of all—one of those greasy little ponytails.

A bald head is clean. Honest. Smooth. Sensual.
For more handsome bald men, check out Lady Jaided's August Man Candy.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

What Lures Us All

What do men and women across all cultures find attractive?

A 1951 survey by sexual research pioneers Clelland Ford and Frank Beach found only two characteristics that men and women universally consider sexually attractive. Everything else was inconsistent, including what parts of the body are considered erotic, and the most attractive size and shape for a body. In some cultures, breasts are not objects of sexual interest while in others where they are, there might be a preference for small ones or long, pendulous ones over large round ones. Though the survey was done more than half a century ago, it seems to hold true today.

So what are the two characteristics? You could probably guess if you tried, even though it might not thrill you. They are youth and health.

Source: Human Sexuality: Diversity in Contemporary America Fourth Edition
Bryan Strong, Christine DeVault, Barabara W. Sayad, William I. Yarber
For more odds and ends of sexual arcana, check out Lady Jaided emag.

Friday, August 8, 2008

The Quiminology Files

Southern Smile

Happy ginas everywhere adore this term of affection (not to be confused with vagina dentata, which is apparently a very scary thing for men the world over). What a cheerful way to think of your private bits! A southern smile implies satisfaction and evokes warm, sultry regions. Who wouldn’t want to bask in your southern smile, kiss it, try to make it even broader?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Loving Outside the Box

A different view of partnership
By Fae Sutherland
When Lady Jaided approached me about writing this article, it was more than a little serendipitous that the request came on the third anniversary of the day my partner and I met. Chelsea and I have been best friends for three years now, living together for going on two, and our relationship is one of those that make most people cock their heads and adopt a befuddled look as they try to figure it out. We kind of enjoy baffling people, actually.

You see, Chelsea is what I refer to as my “hetero lifemate.” We are both women, she is straight while I am bi, and we are absolutely a hundred percent committed to each other and our partnership. We have what equates to a platonic marriage, if you need a label on it. But then, that’s kind of a confusing label, isn’t it?

Read the rest of this story in Lady Jaided ezine's August issue.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Copping a Buzz

Wicked Women and Lady Jaided recently formed an alliance with to supply sexual-enhancement products for a new review column called The Buzz, which will start in September. We selected this company for its dedication to quality, health, education and customer service. We also really like the frank yet sophisticated way they describe the toys, the way they honor and respect women’s sexuality in all its forms, and the fact that they carry honest reviews of their products by users.

VibeReview was founded in 2002 by a Registered Nurse, and the site has loads of informative articles and guides about sex toys and other sexual aids, from materials and lube interactions to innovative vibrator designs and how to choose the right toy for you. They also have lots of other interesting and informative articles about sexuality, including tantric sex, faking orgasms and prostate massage, as well as interviews with porn stars and filmmakers and a calendar of carnal events and holidays. And that’s just the free stuff! sells products that have received positive reviews. Their descriptions tell you everything you need to know to choose, use and maintain safe, high-quality and pleasure-boosting toys. They carry a wide range of sexual enhancement products, including dildos, vibrators, bondage gear, lotions, potions, books, gifts, games and gags. The website is easy to navigate, and product ratings are prominently displayed.

VibeReview also invites beginners and experienced women and men--singles and couples of all sexual orientations--to join its affiliate program and write their own reviews on personal blogs and/or sites. This program offers people an opportunity to review quality toys and read unbiased, honest reviews--and best of all, to make money at it. Affiliate reviewers link to VibeReview and receive 20 percent of all orders received via their link. It's one of the highest referral fees in the country and is fast becoming very popular with bloggers.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Empress on the Mount

Big E:
Is there any way to tell if a man is a good lay before going to all the trouble and risk of actually doing it with him?

Sure, just ask him *hysterical laughter ensues*.

Honored Highness:
My dh has a foot fetish. I have always found this charming because he loves to massage my feet and give me pedicures, which I adore. The problem is, he recently quit a very good job and started working at a shoe store. Should I be worried?

Worried? No. Running? Hell YES! Good God, I’m as fetishistic as the next person but only in a fun, whip-and-spurs kind of way. Your dh has gone way beyond fun.
You do have one happy point to consider. At least get a great pair of runners out of him before you bolt. Or, even better, a great pair of boots so you can kick him to the kerb.

Wise One:
I’m 41 years old and recently divorced. A 29-year-old man who works in my building keeps asking me out. He’s cute and nice but I think I’m too old for him so I keep telling him no. He says I shouldn’t let age get in the way if I find him attractive, which I do. I just have a hard time believing he finds me attractive. I’m not bad looking but I’m plain and a little bit overweight. He has a good job, so I don’t think he’s looking for a sugar mamma. Am I being a lecherous old lady?
Mrs. Robinson.

No, you’re being a git. Grab him (don’t forget the rope and handcuffs) and give him the ride of his life.
Bloody hell, you have a salivating young stud desperate to show you every fantasy you’ve never had and you’re worried about age and a couple of pounds? Oh please, don’t make me go over there and hurt you. You describe yourself as “a little bit overweight,” which I’m willing to bet means you have tits he’d die to play with and an arse that keeps him awake at night. Use him for mindless sex, you fool!
On second thought, perhaps leave the handcuffs until the second date. Some guys are a bit iffy about that. Most odd.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Lesbians vs. lesbians

Thank goodness our sister-loving sisters can call themselves lesbians again without fear of legal reprisals from the Greek government! In case you didn't hear, a lawsuit was filed recently on behalf of residents of the Greek island of Lesbos against a group of, uh, homosexual women, saying that only residents of Lesbos had the right to be called Lesbians. Any copy editor could tell you the difference between Lesbians and lesbians, but just having a capital letter to themselves apparently wasn't enough for some proud Lesbos dwellers. Anyway, a court in Athens ruled against the plaintiffs. Whew!

But what if it actually became illegal to call yourself a lesbian unless you hailed from Lesbos? What other word would be a good substitute? Sapphist?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tattoed Love Boys

Not all inked flesh is attractive. In fact, some is downright repulsive. But the right tattoo makes a sexy man even more exciting. First, there’s the simple visual sensuality of smooth skin and muscle embellished by appealing imagery. A truly elegant tattoo can transform a mere mortal into a walking work of art.

But there’s more to tat attraction than appealing to the eye and aesthetic senses. Some tattoos evoke masculinity because they have been associated for centuries with warriors and tribal initiation involving the survival of an ordeal. Others summon spirituality and mystical powers for their historic connection to shamans.

Contemporary tattoos add a touch of the exotic and identify the wearer as a sensual subversive, an artist, a counterculturist, a neotribalist, even an outlaw. Like piercings, some tattoos whisper, “I know the erotic pleasures of pain, and I can take it as well as dish it out.”

All tattoos carry a sense of mystery. Each means something special to its wearer. Each hints at the story of its creation.

So what do you think? Do you find tattoos appealing on a man? How about a woman?

For more pix of illustrated men, check out Lady Jaided's July Man Candy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Over at Lady Jaided magazine, we have a feature called Twatchamacallit, a small feature about different names for "down there." We've been on a food roll lately, which makes sense since food analogies are among the most common. We like words that make it sound like a treat. Cookie is compact and yummy, jaunty if a little juvenile. We could see not laughing him out of bed if he called our cootchie a cookie in just the right way. It certainly gives a whole new meaning to the Cookie Monster.
What food related terms do you or an intimate have for your genitals?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

See Jane Review

Hey, guess what?, an adult review site says Sex Talk is quality and original. Reviewer Vamp made us one of her staff picks and called us fun, informative, sex-positive and empowering. You can bet we'll spend some time checking out her other picks, one of which, we were pleased to discover, is Coffee Time Romance, which we adore too!
Not to suck up or anything, but we have to return the compliment. In addition to reviewing blogs and websites, Jane's Guide reviews books, movies, and sex toys and features art and artists. And it has consumer tips to help you avoid getting burned when you explore sex-related sites, as well as a sex dictionary. You can bet we'll be returning again and again to Jane's Guide to find new sites and blogs for women who refuse to behave!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sworn Virgins of Albania

Did you see this fascinating story in NYT about the sworn virgins of Albania? These aren't young women who swear not to have sex till marriage. Rather, they are part of a centuries-old tradition in which women decide to forgo sex and marriage in order to live as men for their entire lives. In the past, it often happened when the male head of the family died and there was no male heir to take his place. An older daughter would step up and become the patriarch, dressing like a man, doing a man's work and being treated by everyone as a man. It was also a way to gain independence and a sense of self worth in a time and place where women were considered no more valuable than a farm animal and many were forced into arranged marriages. I have to say it sounds like more fun that becoming a nun, which was the only way to avoid marriage in some Christian countries in days of yore.

Interestingly, once they became sworn virgins, these women were treated respectfully and accepted by men, even though they usually kept their female names. They were even allowed to own property, a privilege denied other women.

The custom is dying out now that women have more rights, and one sworn virgin in the article is quoted as saying she wouldn't do it today because she thinks now it would be fun to be a woman. I have read about the "two spirits" of Mexico, where a person of mixed gender identity was treated with respect and even awe. Anybody else know of any other customs around the world in which changing gender is part of a tradition?