Monday, July 30, 2007

Hell Hath No Fury Like Faith Hill Pissed Off...

Faith Hill has been in the TMZ news a lot lately, today because she publicly chastised a female fan Saturday night for fondling hubby Tim McGraw's BALLS!! The testicle-rubbing faniac was front row center, apparently giving her crotch access.

"Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend!" Faith shouted as her hubby walked to the other side of the stage. "You don't go grabbin' somebody else's - somebody's husband's - balls, you understand me? That's very disrespectful!"

You can mess with Faith's photo in Redbook, but leave Tim's balls alone.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

A Man & His Hand

Here, pussy pussy...

We've discovered lots of words recently, interesting, funny and a bit gross at times. But the one word that seems universal is "Pussy". So we decided to take a look at this feline favorite. It has been referenced as possibly originating in Old Saxon ("puse" meaning vulva) and also the medieval French word "puce" which, rather unfortunately, means "flea". Urgh. Its first true literary usage comes in 1583, when an English pamphleteer named Philip Stubbs wrote that "The word pussie is now used of a woman".

Right, so there we are, we've now all got pussies as of the sixteenth century. And it stuck, too. After all, we're soft and furry. Stroke us right and we'll definitely purr. Stroke us wrong and you might get a scratch or two.

So what, one might ask, of the current trend toward removing that pussy hair? Are we now "Sphynx"? (The hairless cat has been around for a long time, incidentally. Although now bred for that characteristic, it was originally a natural mutation. Off the point, but interesting nonetheless and something you might want to trot out at your next cocktail party.) Does the depilation deprive us of the right to have pussies?

Nah. A pussy is a pussy whether it's as lush as a Persian, as sleek as a Siamese or as bald as a Sphynx. It's powerful (remember those Egyptian gods?), a symbol of pleasure everywhere, and occasionally bad luck (if it's attached to somebody else's wife). It's got its own movie quotes ("Pussy Galore" anyone?), more jokes than you can shake a cat toy at, and is definitely here to stay. It may not be able to meow, but it can fart now and again. It can be lapped at, played with, snuggled against and teased. It probably comes in as many colors as cat breeds, although if anybody's got a Sealpoint one, please send photos to the Quiminology lab.

Yes ladies...we have pussies. And yes, that definitely makes us Goddesses. Along with all the other amazing things we've got going for us, of course. Oh, and let's not forget the ever-popular "pussy-whipped". It has its own kinky appeal, doesn't it? ;)

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Who Defines Sexiness?

TMZ recently broadcast these 2 images of country singer Faith Hill. On the right we have the real, unedited photo of Ms. Hill. On the left we have her photoshopped image which appears on this month's cover of Redbook magazine.

Is it just me or does the untouched, fresh-faced, voluptuous, 40-year-old Faith look far superior to the gangling, anorexic, teenaged yahoo the body snatchers replaced her with? And If I'm correct and the Real Deal is a lot sexier than the singer's Stepford version, then our culture has sunk to an all-time new low. But what do you think? Shout time!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Choosing our addictions

Well I've always known that people can develop an addiction to just about anything, but this one is falls at the top of my "you've got to be kidding" list.

A 26-year-old South Korean woman has been arrested for embezzling 1.14 million dollars from an agricultural co-op she worked for, so that she could feed her addiction. Designer Shoes. Yep, according to police she owned hundreds of pairs of designer shoes.

Color me a simple gal, but going to prison over a pair of shoes? No way.

If I have to be addicted, I think mine should be to something like the image to the right. Yeah baby. Easy on the eyes, non-fattening, low-sodium, low cholesterol, high protein, and inspires all kinds of fantasies that get my heart rate up.

And the best part? Well, unless I completely lose my mind, tie him up and hold him hostage, I won't have to go to jail :)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Get A Clue, Big Brother

During the week of July 9 the US House of Representatives voted 291-126 to extend federal funding for "Abstinence Only" sex education in high schools. For those unfamiliar with this ultra-conservative political platform, it means that high schoolers are currently taught only to abstain from sex and are not taught about safe sex alternatives, condoms, STD prevention, the pill, etc.

Ironically, the US Dept of Health and Human Services released the results of a 9-year longitudinal study back in April, a few months prior to the House's archaic decision. The results? Abstinence only education programs have "no impacts on rates of sexual abstinence".

According to the New York Times, not all lawmakers are going for it. Reports the newspaper: "Eleven state health departments rejected abstinence education this year, while legislatures in Colorado, Iowa and Washington passed laws that could kill, or at least wound, its presence in public schools."

In my opinion, our kids should be learning it all, from the benefits of abstinence, to the realities of needing to use condoms, to having your potential partner take an HIV test, etc. But what do you think?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Architecturally Speaking...

This week, our industrious Quiminologists walked on the technical side of research. Yep, there's a host of words out there describing our precious parts that relate to the wonders of the world. Quite appropriately, too, since we are indeed possessed of the first and totally best wonder beneath our thongs! Okay, it's not the great Pyramid, but then again it isn't being excavated by the Colossus of Rhodes. (See the previous posts. Men, sadly, lie when it comes to accurate measurements.)

Temple... oh yes. Open for worship 24/7. Cockpit... er...fasten your seatbelts and return your seat to its upright position for takeoff. Grand Canyon - well, we've never heard an echo yet, but it is pretty awe-inspiring even without a sunset. Tool shed? Okay, provided you're putting a useful hammer in it, not a tiny lockpick. Gates of Heaven...this one we all liked. It's respectful, sensual, conveys the beauty and majesty we women possess in abundance and generally made us all feel good. Love Too toxic in its connotation since that unpleasantness in New York State. Finger hut and crack are probably accurate but seem to lack a little something in the way of style. Ditto gash, slit, garage and hole.

So our Quiminologists conclude that comparing a woman to a natural wonder is okay. That we approve of anything worshipful, will accept practical as an alternative, but would prefer not to be likened to anything that could remind us of digging up the road with an excavator. A hint, gentlemen. Feel free to pay homage at the Gates of Heaven. We might even let you leave an offering...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Wicked Poll Results

Your answers are in!

Q: RWA is best described as...
A: a clique-ish, high school-esque club of (mostly) women writers.

Q:The celebrity couple I am sick of hearing about is:
A: TomKat

Q: The superior penis is...
A: average (length) & thick

Sex Ed

Friday, July 20, 2007

Just when you think you know it all ....

So, you think you know all there is to know about the penis? So did I... until I read this from Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon by Michael Alvear:

1. Only 6 percent of the male population needs extra-large rubbers, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 percent of men lie.

2. The study most trusted by urologists shows that the average erect penis size is 5.1 inches long and 4.8 inches in girth. Unless you're in a chat room. Then double it.

3. About 80 percent of American men are circumcised, even though the American Academy of Pediatrics says it's not medically necessary.No word on why men insist on cutting something they're always exaggerating about.

4. Men really do get "blue-balls." Technically called "prostatic congestion," the achiness in the testicles is caused by "trapped" blood. You know that crap he lays on you about orgasms being the only way to relieve it? He's right. But not so fast, trampolina. So is your doctor -- the one who says a warm shower or aspirinwill also do the trick.

5. Penises are generally darker in color than the bodies they hang from. Why? It's part of the sexual maturation process, but it's also because during puberty nature introduces men to a special friend: their right hand.As Mr. Nice to Meet You Too, You Can Let Go Now will tell anybody who'll listen, your skin would darken too if you were manhandled that often.

6. There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size or nose size. And the bad news is even worse for gold-digging nymphos: There's no correlation between penis size and wallet size.

7. Masturbation, or "punching the monkey," is healthy. No, really. "Use it or lose it" isn't just an excuse for a guy's hands to migrate south; it's the official tested and studied conclusion of sex experts. The less a guy uses his sexual plumbing, the more problems he'll have pumping the well later on. It's only at Thanksgiving that you should tell your man, "Don't play with your meat."

8. Men will go limp if they drink too much. But how much is too much? About three and a half drinks for a 150-pound man. After that, the only thing standing upright in your house will be the vacuum cleaner.

9. All men have a line going down their penis and over their testicles. And no, it's not the chow line. It's more a "seam" on the underside of the penis. It forms when the fetus is in the uterus. In women, the seam becomes the inner lips of the vagina. In men, the seam encloses the urethra along the length of the penis.

10. Nothing can make a penis bigger -- except aging. Unfortunately, the size of the prize stops growing by the time men hit their early 20s.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Hell Freezes Over

Well, hell just officially froze over. I just found out I agree with that bloated bag of of ill wind, Rush Limbaugh. Relax, I'm not going on a political diatribe. I hate all commentators on any side of an issue who deal in lies and half-truths and who try to stir up negativity to make a name for themselves. Especially when they act holier than thou and then turn out to be way more sinful than thou.

Anyway, what do I agree with Mr. Nastypants about? Cigars. Congress plans to raise the tax on cigars from 5 cents to 10 effing dollars PER CIGAR!!

What does this have to do with sex? Well first of all, another overrated sexist blowhard once said cigars are penis stand-ins. (Which makes Rush's constant sucking on one suggestive, no? Personally I think it signifies his wish to give himself a blowjob.) And second, well, a good cigar is my penis stand-in. As well as my cigarette stand-in. When I just have to suck on something that won't make me fat, give me a toothache or erupt snot-like substances in my mouth and will give me a nicotene boost, I reach for a cigar.
Rush and I both believe this new tax is a bad idea. Our selfish reason is the same. We both love suckin' on them big ol' stogies. I doubt he cares that cigarmakers in the town where I live will also probably be put out of a job by this careless piece of legislation.

Empress on the Mount

If it's Thursday, it must be time for questionable advice from our favorite saucy Aussie.

If you like what you see here, Visit Lady Jaided magazine for more pearls of her wisdom. And please feel free to ask your own question here. The Empress adores dispensing glib, pithy solutions to your deepest, darkest problems.

Dear Empress: I am able to climax just from having my toes sucked. Am I normal?
Shoeless in Seattle.

Normal? Who the hell knows. Bloody lucky? Absolutely. As the likelihood of the average male ever a) knowing the clitoris exists, b) where to find it and c) what to do when he gets there, is beyond remote, I’d say you’ve hit the jackpot.

Ms. Bigshot Advice Lady: My girlfriend is frigid. Bitch just doesn’t seem to like sex. Should I dump her or just ignore the ways she lies there staring at the ceiling like a limp rag doll and enjoy myself?
Hot Stud

A hint…if your girlfriend is limp, you obviously need to buy a new blow-up doll.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Holy Hijab

I first read about the plight of Muazzez İlmiye Çığ in the Jerusalem Post last year. In a nutshell, Dr. Çığ, a noted 93-year-old expert of Sumerian archeology, stood trial last year in Istanbul, Turkey for "inciting hatred based on religious differences". Thankfully, the jury acquitted her in less than an hour and she was set free.

And why, you might ask, was she charged to begin with? Because Dr. Çığ, one of the world's leading authorities on ancient Mesopotamia, maintains that the traditional veil of conservative Islam, the hijab, can be traced back much further than Islam. The veil was worn by the priestesses of Sumer who initiated boys into manhood via sexual intercourse.

At her trial Dr. Çığ maintained, "I am a woman of science ... I never insulted anyone."

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Skinny On The Foreskin

San Francisco Chronicle writer Edward Guthmann said that after his June 21st piece Circumcision losing favor with U.S. parents was published, the newspaper received a huge reader response. "Men bemoaned their parents' choice. Women advocated for foreskin restoration. Doctors and parents disputed the urologist quoted, who denied that circumcision is 'brutal.'"

According to author Kristen O'Hara, circumsized men don't give as much sexual pleasure to women as the uncut do. She equates having sex with a cut penis to being banged by a broomstick. The cushiony foreskin, on the other hand, maximizes women's orgasmic success.

Could sexual fulfillment all come down to a little piece of skin? Tell us what you think!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Sperm 101

A normal ejaculation should...

  • contain 40-600 million sperm that can cover the head of a pin.

  • be a cloudy white fluid with a chlorine type smell.

  • taste slightly sweet due to fructose in sperm.

Gag alert: Yellow or Green Colored Semen is a sign of infection, most likely the result of gonorrhea. Foul smelling semen is almost always a symptom of infection.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Food, Glorious.....FOOD????

Care for some bearded clam? How about an order of fish taco? Perhaps a donut, or a honey pot? Then there’s the descriptively confusing “meat wallet”. Yep, all names bestowed on our genitalia, ladies. And you can add cake, fillet-o-fish, lobster pot, peach, and tuna to the sexual menu if you want…all used frequently to describe our most precious parts.

We Quiminologists can run with the clams/oysters thing - after all, there is a pearl lurking in those moist folds. Keep tasting, gentlemen - you’ll find it eventually. But tacos? None of us recall using shredded cheese in bed and definitely keep that hot sauce away, please. Yeeeowch! Honey-pot and other sticky things - well, yes. We do produce our own individually flavored honey if touched just right. No beehives needed either, although we don’t know how it tastes on toast.

After extensive research, we’ve concluded that these names are creations of the opposite gender. Yep, men!! If they make us sound tasty enough to eat, more power to ‘em. Nothing like a hungry male sating his appetite between our thighs. But we note in passing that other than “meat” and the many sausage references, most male euphemisms have to do with power and size than taste. (Rocket, sword, love tool, shaft, telephone pole - you know them, we don’t need to repeat them here.) Where’s the “éclair”? No crullers or other appropriately shaped yummies. We couldn’t find anything about a tootsie-pop or the number of licks it might take to get it to explode.**

Is it because women tend to watch what they eat more than men? That saying “c’mon babe. Gimme that chocolate covered éclair so I can suck the cream out of it?” might undo a week of celery and lettuce? Are men leery of having their weaponry compared to things from the produce section? (Cucumbers, zucchinis...a huge carrot?) Did Ben and Jerry threaten a lawsuit if “Chunky Monkeys” became a nickname for their tent poles? We don’t know. But the good news is that we’re still working on the research.

The bad news? We've all gained about two pounds while doing it. Sigh.

(**Our scientists have, however, developed a formula for this phenomena. Number of licks = (Period of time since last sexual encounter)x(vacuum strength of lips)+/- (tension exerted on base of penis by hand) + (breast size). [The last variable seems irrelevant, but apparently influences the outcome.]

The answer averages out to four. Formula is accurate to within a factor of ten if alcohol is present.)

Friday, July 13, 2007

Pregnant, Horny & Feelin' Guilty

According to the March Of Dimes foundation, some mommies-to-be balk at the idea of having sex with their partner until after the baby is born. Apparently a few common reasons pregnant women cite for abstaining from nookie are: fear of injuring the baby, fear of miscarriage, and fear that the unborn child will somehow "know" what Mommy is up to.

Okay I've got to ask: Has anyone out there ever worried while pregnant that their baby will think they're a ho for bopping Daddy? If so, spill the beans!

Who Is That Masked Wo/Man?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Condoms 101

Every Wicked Woman should know how to effectively use condoms and keep them from rupturing. If you're new to the singles scene, haven't needed to worry over rubbers in years, or whatever your scenario, then heads up. (Freudian slip.) Alternative teen educator Scarleteen provides the following useful tips:

1. Thinner condoms cause minimal friction and therefore are less likely to fracture.
2. Never store rubbers in wallets or pockets - getting them too warm or too cold causes breakage.
3. Always use a water based lubricant in conjunction with condoms... non-lubed condoms dry out and easily crack. (Not to mention a lack of lube can hurt some very sensitive spots!)

For extra tips, including how to best sheathe an uncircumcised pecker, check out Scarleteen's Condom Basics Users Manual.

Doing It for Ourselves

A new sex aid that attaches to your vacuum cleaner to suck and vibrate your clitoris has been getting a fair amount of press lately. But one review we read said the sound of the vacuum cleaner sort of ruins the mood because it always reminds her of her grandmother, and it's loud. The review went on to say that the thing sucks so hard, it takes away all moisture and borders on being painful.

The one that got far higher reviews is the Berman Center Selene Vibrating Pump, which has powerful vibrating and suction modes for those times when a good man is hard to find or simply to augment your usual lovemaking. These types of devices are said to be particularly useful for women who have a hard time climaxing.

Anyone out there used one?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Strange Love: Fetish of the Month

It’s understandable how some people might develop a sexual thing for stuffed toys. A lot of kinks develop early in life and are linked to a person’s first consciousness of sexual pleasure. A child lying in bed cuddling with a toy might well experience sexual stimulation and come to pair it with the presence of the toy. Others might just experience a sense of well-being in association with a stuffed toy. Plushophiliacs want people to know that not all of them have a sexual attraction to their toys. Some just like stuffed toys—a lot—and collect hundreds, even thousands of them. Some plushophiliacs are also into furries, fictional creatures with human and animal characteristics, and even like to dress in fursuits for fun or sexual pleasure. Plushophiliacs who have a true paraphilia have been known to alter their toys by adding appendages or orifices to facilitate sexual activity. FoxWolfie Galen’s Plushie site asked what might be the all-time strangest survey question: Do you spooge on your plushies? Thirteen percent of respondents don’t, by the way. The Number One most attractive species in a plushie? Dragons.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Alpha Males

We Like 'Em Nice and
We LOVE 'Em Naughty

Well what Wicked Woman doesn't right? And this oh-so-fine fellow, Cristian Letelier falls into the "Nicely Naughty" Category.

Since one of the hats I wear is interviewing Hunks, I'm always scouting for prime candidates. I first saw Cristian in a film (Return to Savage Beach) and thought "yumm". So naturally I tracked him down.

And what a handful he turned out to be (Rating 9.5 on my "Naughty-o-Meter"). For example, when I interviewed him last month, I asked:

"There's a few personal questions I'd like to ask. Is that okay"

"How personal?" he asks.

"Very, can you take it?"

He gave me a wickedly sexy grin. "Bring it on, baby."

" My kind of man. Okay, first - what's your favorite erotic food?"

A shocked expression appeared on his handsome face. "Food? You really want to know about food?"

"Why yes, I want to know what you like to eat."

Well... let's just say that Cristian's response falls right into our resident Quiminologist's territory :) And let me add that we writers of erotic romance have NOTHING on this man when it comes to describing what he likes and how he likes it. (I have to say I'm still having warm flash-backs on that!)

Cristian's turn ons: large nipples, shaved beavers (sorry Sahara I couldn't resist), and some "junk in the trunk". Oh, and his theme song? "Let's Get it On." Hmmmm, maybe one day I'll mention that private lap dance he gave me while humming his theme song. You can see more of Cristian at

Okay, that's it for now. I'm off to scout new and delicious men for your enjoyment. Until next time :)


Off Topic: Scientology

A 25-year-old woman in Sydney, Australia appeared in court this morning after she fatally stabbed her father and sister and left her mother severely wounded. The irony? The parents had previously denied their daughter psychiatric care because of their Scientology beliefs.

I try to be open-minded. I try oh so very hard. But to me this tragic story underscores everything wrong with fundamentalist religion, be it Islam, Christianity, or Scientology. (Note the emphasis on the word "fundamentalist".)

In quasi-related news, the UK's Daily Mail reported last week that Germany has banned Tom Cruise from making a movie about the attempted assassination plot of Hitler because the government there feels that Scientology is very akin to Nazi thinking.

What do you think?

Wicked Funnies

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Addicted To Love

Salon magazine recently reported that some women may be addicted to semen. According to a survey administered by Dr. Gordon Gallup, women who habitually engage in unprotected sex become increasingly depressed the longer they go without nookie. Conversely, women who use condoms didn't experience the same depression.

The most giggle-inducing part of the article? Salon writer Tracy Clark-Flory insisted that "Someday they'll have a patch for that."

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Sexy Vegans

There are a lot of non-dairy milks out there for vegans to enjoy. I've tried a few, but keep coming back to the Silk line of soy milk. (Those allergic to soy might try oat milk... I didn't care for it but tastes vary so you might.)

My kids loooove the chocolate Silk Soy Milk! It's got a smooth, creamy taste and can be bought in either cartons or individual sippies. For cereal and cooking, the original Silk tastes pretty good... very similar to 2% dairy milk.

Eat Sexy & Feel Sexy!

Leave it to --- BEAVER!

The beaver. Ah, yeah, we’ve all heard those famous Leslie Nielsen movie lines… “Nice beaver.” And the response, “Thanks. I just had it stuffed.” Classic dialogue that’ll last forever. But when the Quiminology lab began to investigate the word “beaver” - well, we found ourselves stumped! There’s little or no source material available.

So we followed the logic to a time when hair was plentiful and razors hard to find. We ended up smack dab in fur trapping country around the late 1800s. Picture this - a man with tangled hair and a lot of beard gets his woman in a secluded grove, rips off her drawers in a frenzy of lust - only to find himself looking at something that would have brought in at least $25 on the open market. His dilemma? Trap it or fuck it? We like to think that lust won out over greed. And we also assume his date was a brunette - there aren’t many naturally blonde beavers.

But it’s a pretty good analogy. Furry, shiny (assuming a stream was around for bathing purposes) thickly curled - yeah, enough to make our trapper’s tools leap to attention. And the fact that beavers are associated with logs - well, of course all men consider themselves sequoias in the cock forest. It worked for us. The word “beaver” was henceforth part of our language and nestled comfortably between our thighs forever after. Dam good thing, too. (Pun intended.) Of course, when razors finally came into town…well, that’s a subject for another investigation by the Quiminology files!!!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Snoop Doggie Dog

The first Wicked Women poll closes within an hour. It looks like the doggie styles have it, followed closely by old school style missionaries!

It's time to reflect on what it is about those 2 positions that we like the most. Better penetration? We get to be lazy cuz dude has to do most of the work? Can't see belly flab like you can while spooning? All of the above?
Do tell ;-)

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Empress on the Mount

Dear Empress:
My dh loves buying me lingerie (ok, so that’s not so bad) but he always buys thongs and I hate having something crawling up my crack. I’ve tried telling him I don’t like dental floss in my butt, to no avail. He keeps bringing them home. What should I do?
String Buttini

Marriage is all about compromise. His. If he wants you to wear a thong, then it’s only reasonable to expect him to do something for you. Tell him that you’ll wear the thongs if he’ll have a Brazilian wax every month. Even if he agrees (and we both know he won’t), you still win. Surely it’s worth wearing a thong occasionally if it means you don’t you don’t have to snorkel though a gator-infested jungle to reach Mount Blow Hard.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Licensed To Thrill

A new bill has been introduced in NY state which, if passed, would require strippers to be licensed by the government before they can gyrate in front of civilians. Proponents maintain that necessitating state issued work permits would cut down significantly on sex trafficking while detractors argue that the women's privacy would be violated in what is now a largely anonymous profession.

Would this legislation be helpful, hurtful or unlikely to curb sex trafficking? You decide.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Country Boys Need Love Too

What's a hard-working, horny guy to do when there's a female shortage in the village? The New York Times recently reported that the lonely farmers of La Viñuela, Spain got inventive: they started busing in single ladies from Madrid. The farmers, working in concert with The Association of Women's Caravans, hosted a matchmaking event complete with music, food, alcohol and porta-potties.

Ah, love sweet love :-)

I'm too ignorant of Spanish culture to know if this matchmaking plan is likely to work. Something tells me that in the USA, sweet intentions or not, busing in city women to country farmers probably wouldn't amount to anything beyond a few one-night stands. Or maybe I'm too cynical. What do you think?

Hot Mama's Holiday Shooters

Patriot Shots

Bless Jaid for giving you virtuous treats. But someone's got to be a bad influence so it might as well be me--especially for one of my favorite holidays, Independence Day.
Whoever said alcohol and explosives don’t mix has never enjoyed a Fourth of July celebration at Rancho Hot Mama. A good fireworks display tickles Hot Mama’s patriotic heart—and her Southern states— especially after a few red, white and blue Jell-O shooters. You can make these red white and blue Jell-O shooters in star molds or plastic shot glasses arranged on a tray to resemble a flag.

Red shooter
3oz strawberry Jell-O
6oz water
4 oz tequila
2 oz triple sec

Blue shooter
3 oz regular (not sugar-free)Berry Blue Jell-O
6oz water
6oz vodka (Stoli's got a new blueberry flavored one)

White shooter
3oz regular (not sugar-free) pina colada Jell-O
6oz water
6oz rum

Bring the water to a boil and stir in Jell-O. Remove from heat and stir two minutes, making sure Jell-O is completely dissolved. Stir in liquor. Pour into molds or shot glasses and chill for at least three hours. To remove from mold, set mold in warm water for 15 seconds and then turn upside down over a plate.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Sexy Vegans

It ain't easy being vegan... unless you're, like, an iguana. (Or one of those annoying human beings possessing that elusive thing called will power.) Thankfully, there are a lot of little known food shops out there that can make the transition to a veggie lifestyle a lot easier. I'm going to start highlighting approximately one every week or so.

For the carnivores out there, don't feel left out. I'm sure Hot Mama will post some more of her sexy recipes soon. And although the foods I'll be discussing are free of animal products, they are still sinfully yummy to even the most meat and dairy loving of taste buds, as well as being organic and environmentally friendly.


AG makes everything from vegan brownies to vegan candies, cookies, coffee and hot cocoa. And she does it oh so damn well! (No dairy, zero cholesterol.) I particularly recommend her vegan fudge and lemon poppy seed cookies, while my kids give 2 thumbs up to her mint chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon snickerdoodle cookies. Whatever your favorite wicked indulgence might be, chances are Allison's Gourmet makes it better than you've ever tasted it before.

Eat Sexy and Feel Sexy!

Get Your Freak On

USA Today reported this morning that former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss is slated to open Nevada's first legal bordello that caters exclusively to female clientele. The newspaper quoted Fleiss as stating, "I have at least 400 women who are ready to buy a membership." (And no shortage of men applying for the job!)

Will Heidi find as much financial success pandering to an all-female customer base as she did supplying female hookers to male clients in Hollyweird? Is this one of life's realities that you consider to be (a) a long time in coming or (b) yet further proof of the decline of modern civilization? Pick up your trumpets and sound off!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

What Wicked Women Need To Know - Trolls and Cyberstalkers

This has absolutely NADA to do with sex, but what an important article for women to read! Here's an excerpt from the article "Online Harassment: Five Tips to Defeat Blog Trolls and Cyberstalkers"

According to Derek Wood, vice president of clinical operations at PsychTracker Inc., a journaling site for people with mental illness, the harassment comes in two general forms: trolls and cyberstalkers. It's important for blog participants to understand the psychological makeup of both types so that if they encounter any type of online abuse, they'll have some idea of what they're facing and how to respond to it.

A troll is a person who posts with the intent to insult and provoke others, Wood explains. The goal is to disrupt the normal traffic of a discussion group beyond repair. "A group is considered to be cohesively destroyed when two-thirds to three-quarters of the messages are a result of [trolls'] comments," Wood explains. They often target new users, who are more likely to take offense, hence the term "troll" (as in "trolling" for newbies).

Many trolls are characterized by having an excess of free time and are probably lonely and seeking attention, Wood says. "They often see their own self-worth in relation to how much reaction they can provoke," he says. Woods categorizes trolls in the following ways:

1. Spamming troll: Posts to many newsgroups with the same verbatim post.

2. Kooks: A regular member of a forum who habitually drops comments that have no basis on the topic or even in reality.

3. Flamer: Does not contribute to the group except by making inflammatory comments.

4. Hit-and-runner: Stops in, make one or two posts and move on.

5. Psycho trolls: Has a psychological need to feel good by making others feel bad.


Cyberstalkers can also assume many different forms, according to Wood, although they're basically characterized by a continuing pattern of communication that the recipient considers to be offensive. Other common traits of cyberstalkers are malice, premeditation, repetition, distress to the victim, an obsession on the part of the stalker, seeking of revenge, threats that make victims fear for their physical safety and disregarded warnings to stop.

As with trolls, there are several different types of cyberstalkers, according to Wood:

1. Intimate partner: The most common type of stalker, this is usually a man who has a history of controlling and emotional abuse during a relationship.

2. Delusional stalkers: This type of stalker builds an entire relationship with the victim in his or her mind, whether any prior contact has taken place or not. Such stalkers are likely to have a major mental illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or erotomania, which means they believe the victim is in love with them. The typical delusional stalker is unmarried, socially immature and a loner who is unable to sustain close relationships with others.

3. Vengeful stalker: This type of person is angry with the victim due to some real or imagined insult or injury. Some of these stalkers are psychopaths -- a person affected with an antisocial personality disorder -- who have no conscience or remorse. They may have paranoid delusions, often feeling that they themselves are victims and are striving to get even.

What to do

In many cases, victims feel they have very little ammunition -- whether legal, technological or tactical -- to stop the abuse. However, there are some things bloggers and other online contributors can do to try to avoid this kind of harassment or at least keep it from crossing into the physical world.

1. Know the trolls' tactics. According to Wood, the first rule for dealing with trolls is to avoid being deceived by them in the first place. Don't trust anything you receive or read without verifying the poster through known, reliable sources, he says. Also, ignore postings or private e-mails that are suspicious, such as those that praise, flatter or evoke a sympathetic response.

2. DFTT This is one of the more important acronyms in the blog world, meaning, "Don't feed the trolls." "Just like in-person bullies, trolls feed off your reaction," Tim says. "Under no circumstances should you acknowledge the behavior or repay it with anger or defensiveness. If you don't react, they'll get bored and go away."Even if ignoring the harasser doesn't get him to stop, at least you won't fan his flames, Wood says. "The more a person responds, the more they teach the stalker about themselves or divulge information they shouldn't," he says.

3. Maintain your privacy. Don't publish any personal information, such as your address or phone number. If you need to, use a Post Office box number. Wood suggests asking your state's motor vehicles and voter registry to put a block on your address and phone number. "Otherwise, any person may obtain them just for inquiring," he says.Some longtime bloggers, such as Bray and his wife Lauren Wood, a senior technical program manager at Sun, refrain from posting photos of their children on their blogs.

4. Block and ban. If you're experiencing abuse on a moderated blog, you can appeal to the administrator, who can try banning the troll. Be prepared to include a history of the troll's posts, including full headers.Some blog services offer technologies that enable you to block offensive participants. Using Wordpress, Silverstein can moderate the comments of anyone who hasn't contributed to the site before, which helps eliminate the hit-and-run type of trolls. "That allows me to weed out 90% of the abuse I get," he says.Another plug-in enables him to ban certain IP addresses. "That's especially good for the really crazy people, if they post one comment that goes beyond the pale," he says.

5. Keep a log. Be sure to keep a copy of anything you receive from the harasser, Lauren Wood suggests. If they contact you by phone rather than e-mail, take notes on what they say and how often they call, she says. "You'll need proof rather than, 'I think he was calling three times a day,'" she says. "You'll want a log that says, 'He called at 9:14 p.m.'."

© 2007 Computerworld Inc.

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