Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Empress on the Mount

Big E:
Is there any way to tell if a man is a good lay before going to all the trouble and risk of actually doing it with him?

Sure, just ask him *hysterical laughter ensues*.

Honored Highness:
My dh has a foot fetish. I have always found this charming because he loves to massage my feet and give me pedicures, which I adore. The problem is, he recently quit a very good job and started working at a shoe store. Should I be worried?

Worried? No. Running? Hell YES! Good God, I’m as fetishistic as the next person but only in a fun, whip-and-spurs kind of way. Your dh has gone way beyond fun.
You do have one happy point to consider. At least get a great pair of runners out of him before you bolt. Or, even better, a great pair of boots so you can kick him to the kerb.

Wise One:
I’m 41 years old and recently divorced. A 29-year-old man who works in my building keeps asking me out. He’s cute and nice but I think I’m too old for him so I keep telling him no. He says I shouldn’t let age get in the way if I find him attractive, which I do. I just have a hard time believing he finds me attractive. I’m not bad looking but I’m plain and a little bit overweight. He has a good job, so I don’t think he’s looking for a sugar mamma. Am I being a lecherous old lady?
Mrs. Robinson.

No, you’re being a git. Grab him (don’t forget the rope and handcuffs) and give him the ride of his life.
Bloody hell, you have a salivating young stud desperate to show you every fantasy you’ve never had and you’re worried about age and a couple of pounds? Oh please, don’t make me go over there and hurt you. You describe yourself as “a little bit overweight,” which I’m willing to bet means you have tits he’d die to play with and an arse that keeps him awake at night. Use him for mindless sex, you fool!
On second thought, perhaps leave the handcuffs until the second date. Some guys are a bit iffy about that. Most odd.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Lesbians vs. lesbians

Thank goodness our sister-loving sisters can call themselves lesbians again without fear of legal reprisals from the Greek government! In case you didn't hear, a lawsuit was filed recently on behalf of residents of the Greek island of Lesbos against a group of, uh, homosexual women, saying that only residents of Lesbos had the right to be called Lesbians. Any copy editor could tell you the difference between Lesbians and lesbians, but just having a capital letter to themselves apparently wasn't enough for some proud Lesbos dwellers. Anyway, a court in Athens ruled against the plaintiffs. Whew!

But what if it actually became illegal to call yourself a lesbian unless you hailed from Lesbos? What other word would be a good substitute? Sapphist?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tattoed Love Boys

Not all inked flesh is attractive. In fact, some is downright repulsive. But the right tattoo makes a sexy man even more exciting. First, there’s the simple visual sensuality of smooth skin and muscle embellished by appealing imagery. A truly elegant tattoo can transform a mere mortal into a walking work of art.

But there’s more to tat attraction than appealing to the eye and aesthetic senses. Some tattoos evoke masculinity because they have been associated for centuries with warriors and tribal initiation involving the survival of an ordeal. Others summon spirituality and mystical powers for their historic connection to shamans.

Contemporary tattoos add a touch of the exotic and identify the wearer as a sensual subversive, an artist, a counterculturist, a neotribalist, even an outlaw. Like piercings, some tattoos whisper, “I know the erotic pleasures of pain, and I can take it as well as dish it out.”

All tattoos carry a sense of mystery. Each means something special to its wearer. Each hints at the story of its creation.

So what do you think? Do you find tattoos appealing on a man? How about a woman?

For more pix of illustrated men, check out Lady Jaided's July Man Candy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Over at Lady Jaided magazine, we have a feature called Twatchamacallit, a small feature about different names for "down there." We've been on a food roll lately, which makes sense since food analogies are among the most common. We like words that make it sound like a treat. Cookie is compact and yummy, jaunty if a little juvenile. We could see not laughing him out of bed if he called our cootchie a cookie in just the right way. It certainly gives a whole new meaning to the Cookie Monster.
What food related terms do you or an intimate have for your genitals?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

See Jane Review

Hey, guess what? JanesGuide.com, an adult review site says Sex Talk is quality and original. Reviewer Vamp made us one of her staff picks and called us fun, informative, sex-positive and empowering. You can bet we'll spend some time checking out her other picks, one of which, we were pleased to discover, is Coffee Time Romance, which we adore too!
Not to suck up or anything, but we have to return the compliment. In addition to reviewing blogs and websites, Jane's Guide reviews books, movies, and sex toys and features art and artists. And it has consumer tips to help you avoid getting burned when you explore sex-related sites, as well as a sex dictionary. You can bet we'll be returning again and again to Jane's Guide to find new sites and blogs for women who refuse to behave!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sworn Virgins of Albania

Did you see this fascinating story in NYT about the sworn virgins of Albania? These aren't young women who swear not to have sex till marriage. Rather, they are part of a centuries-old tradition in which women decide to forgo sex and marriage in order to live as men for their entire lives. In the past, it often happened when the male head of the family died and there was no male heir to take his place. An older daughter would step up and become the patriarch, dressing like a man, doing a man's work and being treated by everyone as a man. It was also a way to gain independence and a sense of self worth in a time and place where women were considered no more valuable than a farm animal and many were forced into arranged marriages. I have to say it sounds like more fun that becoming a nun, which was the only way to avoid marriage in some Christian countries in days of yore.

Interestingly, once they became sworn virgins, these women were treated respectfully and accepted by men, even though they usually kept their female names. They were even allowed to own property, a privilege denied other women.

The custom is dying out now that women have more rights, and one sworn virgin in the article is quoted as saying she wouldn't do it today because she thinks now it would be fun to be a woman. I have read about the "two spirits" of Mexico, where a person of mixed gender identity was treated with respect and even awe. Anybody else know of any other customs around the world in which changing gender is part of a tradition?

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Sweetening the Ol' BJ

A recent visitor to our blog with the unappetizing appellation sementaste read with interest our previous conversation about the taste and texture of semen. His interest lies in the fact that he designed a website for a product appropriately called Sweeten69, which is designed to make semen taste better. He says it's the only website completely devoted to the taste of semen. (I'm gonna take his word on that.) The website has a picture similar to the one here of a woman licking an ice cream cone. Yum. Unfortunately, no matter how you flavor it, ejaculate is never going to have the texture of ice cream, and the texture seems to be what triggers the ick factor.
The site does have some interesting facts about foods that sweeten semen (raisins, dates, cinnamon and figs) and stuff that makes it icky (smoking, alcohol and cauliflower).
So do tell, ladies. Wouldja enjoy those bj's more if he tasted like cinnamon?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Quelling an Epidemic

A study released this spring by the Centers for Disease Control estimates that more than one-fourth (26%) of American girls between the ages of 14 and 19 has at least one sexually transmitted disease. That's 3.2-million girls. The most common by far (18%) was HPV, which is linked to cervical cancer and for which, you may recall, there is a vaccination.

The study suggests that reproductive services should include STD screening but that currently only about 38% of young women seeking contraceptive services "associated with unprotected sex" receive STD screening.
D'oh! Given these staggering statistics, wouldn't it make sense just to do routine STD testing as a part of annual physical exams for everyone--male and female--as soon as they hit puberty? The girls are getting those STDs from somewhere, so we've got to assume the boys need screening and treatment too. If one-fourth of a population has a disease, that would seem to qualify as an epidemic. Why are we not treating it as one?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

How to Court a Wife

The ancient Indian erotic love manual, Kamasutra of Vatsyayana, advises that a man should woo a woman for 10 days after their wedding before attempting to consummate the marriage. During this time, they should take ceremonial baths while listening to music, dine together, attend performances and visit friends and relatives. In short, they date, or more specifically, he courts her. During this time, it is the man’s job to gain his wife’s trust, using all his persuasive wiles, but never force because “women are like flowers and need to be enticed very tenderly.” It begins with brief, gentle embraces and leads next to his giving her betel with his mouth and kissing her quietly. If she rejects the betel, he must beg, make promises and even fall at her feet.

Source: The Kamasutra a new translation by Wendy Donniger and Sudhir Kakar published by Oxford University Press 2003.

For more arcane sexual factoids, see Who Knew? column in Lady Jaided ezine.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Man vs. Machine

Does love mean having to say goodbye to your vibrator?

Some women believe they must pack up their treasured toys when they finally find “The One” or even “The One for Now.” They polish and kiss their shiny bullet adieu, tenderly wrap their Jack Rabbit in tissue paper so its ear won’t bend, and wipe away a tear as they carry the box to the attic. Though they’re happy that those lonely nights are over, they nonetheless know deep inside that no man can gyrate, buzz, or expand and contract like their favorite toy.

On the other hand, no vibrator can love you or give you a kiss each morning when you wake and every night before you go to sleep. So if you have to choose between man and machine, chances are good that you’ll take out those batteries and store them for use in a more practical device.

But why choose? The best of all possible worlds is getting your new love to share you with your old faithful—the one that was always there for you, the one that never made demands, the one that made you scream in surprise the first time one orgasm converged into another, and another and another. Why not have it all—or at least try to?
To read the rest of this article, along with reviews of some of the hottest vibes on the market, check out the July issue of Lady Jaided magazine.