Thursday, March 27, 2008

How to Survive a Bad Marriage

Okay, this cupcake has nothing to do with the content of this post, but I figured you deserved to wake up to a handsome man serving you coffee this morning. If you woke up to this every morning, some studies seem to indicate you would be healthier. Unless the two of you don't get along. In that case, it would be bad for your health according to a couple of new studies. A British study found that people in the worst relationships were 34% more likely to have heart attacks or other heart trouble in the next 12 years than those in good relationships.

A much smaller American study bolstered the idea that a bad marriage can be harmful to your health, but Associated Press reported it in a way that managed to be insulting to people who choose to remain single for whatever reason: "A happy marriage is good for your blood pressure, but a stressed one can be worse than being single..." Gasp! There's something worse than being single?

Yep, in fact, being in a bad marriage and keeping your mouth shut about it is worst of all--especially for women. Another study found that women who kept silent during arguments were more likely to die in the next ten years than women who voiced their feelings.

With such ingrained attitudes about the horrors of being single, it's no wonder people cling to bad marriages. So, ladies, what have we learned from these studies? If you're going to stay in a bad marriage, at least give him hell about it. That way, maybe you'll outlive him and get some peace down the road.


Anonymous said...

At least once a month I have to hear my husband complaining and attacking me and how I do pretty much everything. Telling me how screwed I am as a person, as a woman, as a mother and of course as a wife. I just stay there with my mouth shut praying for this hell to finish. I can feel my heart pounding while my heart is bleeding with his nasty words and comments. I wish to have the strenght to say something but I am afraid that it will just give him more material to attack for more than the usual hour or hour and a half. It usually take me a couple days to recover but I ask God for the strenght to forgive and forget. The only thing that keeps me going are my two beautiful girls. They are my life, they are my love my reason to live.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, that sounds awful! The longer you're in a relationship that tears you down, the worse it gets and the harder it is to pull together the self-worth and confidence to leave. I used to work at a domestic violence center, and I can tell you that they offer support to women who are psychologically abused as well as physically abused. I encourage you to check out your local shelter, if just for some support. You need to hear from someone that you deserve better than you're getting. My heart goes out to you.