Monday, July 16, 2007

Sperm 101


A normal ejaculation should...


  • contain 40-600 million sperm that can cover the head of a pin.

  • be a cloudy white fluid with a chlorine type smell.

  • taste slightly sweet due to fructose in sperm.

Gag alert: Yellow or Green Colored Semen is a sign of infection, most likely the result of gonorrhea. Foul smelling semen is almost always a symptom of infection.


26 comments:

The Empress said...

Jaid, next time you issue a 'Gag Alert', could you please put it at the START of your post. I almost threw-up the Tim Tams I'd had for breakfast when I read your informative little piece.

Toni Lea Andrews said...

I once dated a man who swore that eating beets and carrots improved the flavor of sperm.

Unfortunately, beer was known to make it bitter.

Oh, well.

Jaid Black said...

Giselle, if I did that then you wouldn't read all the useless pieces of trivia I spend time finding for your reading "pleasure".

I am SO proud you have learned how to comment. I have sorely missed your bitchy ways :-P

Jaid Black said...

Toni, I don't know about the beets and carrots, but I agree about the beer. NASTY!!

aromagik said...

GAK! (tonsils... heeeeeeee!)

Beer, eh? Well, that sure explains a lot. Pineapple juice is supposed to have a positive affect on taste. I think an experiment is in order... ;)

~Lindy

Ciana Stone said...

chocolate is what a man needs to eat - not to make his sperm taste better but because then he can share and with a mouthful of chocolate you can tolerate just about anything :)

(I'm getting such an education here!!) (big grin)

Susan Edwards said...

Our Darling Empress is right; we should definitely have gag alerts, Jaid. Don't let her kid you--she still would have read it, even if she knew it might make her toss her little Tim Tams.
But to the issue of seminal flavor, I like Ciana's suggestion best. Chocolate does tend to the coat the tongue so almost anything eaten after it tastes better. Of course, I like a certain other author's way of flavoring her husband's spooge by throwing a bunch of Pop Rocks in her mouth before oral sex.

anny cook said...

Cinnamon altoids...

Jaid Black said...

Lindy, report back to us lol

Jaid Black said...

GAG ALERT...

(You have been duly warned.)

I haven't tried chocolate or cinnamon. This will probably fall under the heading of "TMI" but I gave up swallowing in my mid-twenties. The texture is just too similar to snot for me. It could taste like manna from heaven and the texture alone would still make me gag, dry-heave, and/or vomit.

Blah. I'm queezy just thinking about it!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I think this could be used to make a very popular smoothie - but how would one market it? Pineapple juice, mango, papaya blended with lots of ice and a dash of cinnamon.

http://www.biggerloads.com/semen-taste/

I read somewhere (I think it was in one of my favorite toy stores) about some pill that makes both male and female orgasmic excretions taste like maple syrup.

Lynn E

Jaid Black said...

Lynn, unless you figure out a way to kill the texture I'm still not going for it lol

Susan Edwards said...

GAG ALERT!
I'm with you, Jaid. Maple-flavored snot, pineapple-flavored snot, no matter how you flavor it, snot is just not appealing.

aromagik said...

Maple syrup, eh? I think it would market itself. *g*

How about pumpkin pie?

http://www.semenex.com

I ordered some a while ago, so when we get around to trying it I'll try to remember to report back here. (we have a toddler, so EVERYTHING has to be planned well in advance... *sigh*)

Sorry, Jaid, I'm sure it'll still be snotty...

~Lindy

Jaid Black said...

Susan, I'm glad I'm not alone!

Lindy, you go girl! *g* Make sure you definitely report back to us.

The Empress said...

OK Jaid, now you're just being a total tosser. A hint - if you think something might be TMI, THEN IT PROBABLY BLOODY IS! Some things do NOT need to be shared.

Now that you've scarred my psyche - once you gave up swallowing, what did you do? Grab a plastic bag and yell 'Thar She Blows'?

*crossing Mint Bikkies off my shopping list*

Jaid Black said...

Gis, you should know me well enough by now to realize my entire existence is TMI :-P

When I gave up swallowing I took up appeasing the male ego in other ways. "Baby, I like to watch you erupt. I want to see it happen." Then when he's erupting you go "Mmmmm", crane your neck a bit and pretend to taste it. (Quick flicks of the tongue are sweetly deceptive.)

It's an artform, but one worth cultivating. He feels like an alpha male and you don't have a big glob of gooey snot in your mouth. Everyone's a winner.

And there, mes amies, is another edition of TMI *beg*

Susan Edwards said...

Hey, Jaid, good job on waking up the Empress, even if it's going to cost you a shipment of mint bikkies! (With a name like Gis, you'd think she'd have more of a fondness for discussing mucousy things.)

I love your tip for forgoing swallowing without messing with a man's psyche. That is way more romantic than yelling "ick!" and running for the bathroom to spit it out.

Jaid Black said...

Susan, she's all bark and no bite. I know my beloved Aussie... she'll bring the bikkies the next time she visits me *g*

MARCIA said...

I'M WITH YOU JAID. SNOT CITY!

The Empress said...

Jaid, I'm very unlikely to visit you with a supply of Mint Bikkies (or Tim Tams or Rocklea Road or Picnic bars or Violet Crumble etc etc etc) because my tight-arsed cow of a sugar-mummy won't send me her credit card. Inconsiderate tosser.

Jaid Black said...

Hey I just saw this! I am so insulted! :-P

Anonymous said...

That cartoon is awesome. I've e-mailed to some friends to check it out. LOL.

Steve from: Male Sexual Needs

webhelper said...

The cartoon is hilarious.

Steve from male sexual health

semen taste said...

Hey Jaid,

I stumbled upon this page a couple months ago while researching the topic of semen enhancement for a website I designed for retail company Aragorn. I got a kick out of some of your readers' responses, especially those who threw out the gag alerts!

So far we're the only website completely focused on making semen taste better. I hope you'll share our link with your visitors:

http://www.sementaste.com


Thanks, and keep up the great site!

Joey

Keith said...

Food definately has an effect on semen and it's taste. Fish and red meat produce a bitter taste because of their alkaline content. Chemically-processed alcohol can also make your semen taste bitter.

http://www.producemoresemen.net/

Garlic and onion are likely to produce strong odors since they are high in sulfur.