Why some men sizzle and others fizzle
By Sarah Skilton
Animal magnetism. Love at first sight. The spark. (Sing it with me: “Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger across a crowded room…”) You know it when you feel it: chemistry, that elusive quality that makes you “click” with a man.
Why do some men bring it out in us, and others don’t? Is chemistry based purely on physical attraction, or is it something deeper and more elemental? Most importantly, is it accurate?
Several theories claim to explain the phenomena comprising instant attraction, including pheromones, body symmetry, and “love maps”: subconscious lists developed from birth, stored in our brains to paint a mental picture of our perfect mate.
In the right combination, any of the above can form a potent cocktail of attraction. The first, and most obvious, sign of attraction is triggered by sight. Gary Stollman, Ph.D., a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, believes our attraction for particular physical traits in the opposite sex is a hardwired survival mechanism that goes back thousands of years.
“Women see men as potential suitors, protectors and providers; the reason many women are attracted to tall men, for example, is that they appear to be stronger, like they can protect you or provide you with healthy, tall children. This all occurs at the unconscious level.”
Our preferences are also influenced by the society in which we live. In modern-day America, men seek women with curves and a slim waist, whereas in earlier time periods, particularly in Europe, plump or robust attributes carried more weight — excuse the pun.
By Sarah Skilton
Animal magnetism. Love at first sight. The spark. (Sing it with me: “Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger across a crowded room…”) You know it when you feel it: chemistry, that elusive quality that makes you “click” with a man.
Why do some men bring it out in us, and others don’t? Is chemistry based purely on physical attraction, or is it something deeper and more elemental? Most importantly, is it accurate?
Several theories claim to explain the phenomena comprising instant attraction, including pheromones, body symmetry, and “love maps”: subconscious lists developed from birth, stored in our brains to paint a mental picture of our perfect mate.
In the right combination, any of the above can form a potent cocktail of attraction. The first, and most obvious, sign of attraction is triggered by sight. Gary Stollman, Ph.D., a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, believes our attraction for particular physical traits in the opposite sex is a hardwired survival mechanism that goes back thousands of years.
“Women see men as potential suitors, protectors and providers; the reason many women are attracted to tall men, for example, is that they appear to be stronger, like they can protect you or provide you with healthy, tall children. This all occurs at the unconscious level.”
Our preferences are also influenced by the society in which we live. In modern-day America, men seek women with curves and a slim waist, whereas in earlier time periods, particularly in Europe, plump or robust attributes carried more weight — excuse the pun.
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