Thursday, July 5, 2007

Empress on the Mount

Dear Empress:
My dh loves buying me lingerie (ok, so that’s not so bad) but he always buys thongs and I hate having something crawling up my crack. I’ve tried telling him I don’t like dental floss in my butt, to no avail. He keeps bringing them home. What should I do?
String Buttini

Marriage is all about compromise. His. If he wants you to wear a thong, then it’s only reasonable to expect him to do something for you. Tell him that you’ll wear the thongs if he’ll have a Brazilian wax every month. Even if he agrees (and we both know he won’t), you still win. Surely it’s worth wearing a thong occasionally if it means you don’t you don’t have to snorkel though a gator-infested jungle to reach Mount Blow Hard.


MARCIA said...


Toni Lea Andrews said...

I used to call this "Buying a Train Set." You know, like when the Dad buys a fancy train set for his kids for Christmas so HE can play with it?

Just overcome the fiction that when your significant other buys you naughty lingerie, it's for you. It's not.

Jaid Black said...

Marcia, me too! Toni, good call lol. Gis, Exhalted Empress, great... er... advice :-P

The Empress said...

Of course men don't buy lingerie for their parnters. If they did, maybe they'd buy underwear that was pretty and creative, instead of pornographic and crotchless. But then, I am ignoring the Golden Rule - men are simple so keep it visual.

Though it could be worse, the guy could be buying lingerie for himself. Anything even remotely male wearing a g-string (thong) is a crime against nature *pauses to gag*

And Jaid, just so you know, I don't give advice. I merely indicate subtle lifestyle changes.

anny cook said...

My husband takes me to the store and says pick something out. Then he pays for it.

Clothes in bed? Pfftt! Not in this century--or last--oh wait! That's right! After 40 years, who needs that extra stuff?

Jaid Black said...

Subtle lifestyle changes, eh? *g*

I have to agree, at least the lingerie isn't for him. I strive to be as open-minded and tolerant as possible but don't think I could go there lol

Jaid Black said...

Anny, sounds like you've got a great system worked out there, hon!

anny cook said...

Thank you. Catch 'em early, and train 'em right. And then hang on to 'em.